I Date Models
Do you?
Cailean’s POV – Monogamy – Will they cheat? Will you?
The city I live in feels like a cozy village with only around 370,000 individuals. It’s kind of like Cheers where everyone knows your name, (except here you were wishing most of them would forget it.) Lately though, the city seemed to have been magically reduced to only two individuals. Him and Her.
We used to meet for coffee, drinks and lunch on a regular basis but now I’m not sure I’d even recognize her voice. She has become one of those women we hate and seemed to have dropped off the face of the earth since meeting ‘Him’.
I called her to make sure she was alive and to let her know that she has committed the cardinal sin; she has forsaken her girlfriends for her new boyfriend! After poking fun for the first few minutes, I realized she actually seemed happy! I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. We used to be like two peas in a pod (a man-bashing pod) and now she’s talking about babies and marriage?! I zoned out completely when I heard something she said about shopping for linens and when the conversation closed with promises to meet more often and friendship vows renewed I started to think about monogamy and what it really means in 2007.
Since I have been dating for what felt like a million years and I still don’t have a clue, I decided to do some research. Being a single girl in this city means that I have what feels like unlimited access to male companions: bouncers, bartenders, bus boys, DJ’s, restaurant and club owners (the list goes on…) And since it doesn’t take a genius to know that men and women have completely different views on almost every subject, I also went to my girls to see what they had to say.
While some of the things I heard shocked me:
“My definition of monogamy includes sex with prostitutes” (?!)
and the unforgettable,
“Isn’t that how women test their tits for cancer?” Um.. no dear, that’s a mammogram…
I also heard some really modern views. A lot of people under 30 do believe in long term relationships but are starting to realize that maybe marriage is a bit over-rated. How can you possibly tell someone you love them and then promise you’ll always feel that way? It seems a bit unrealistic to me.
Marriage aside, when you are dating, how do you know when you are in a monogamous relationship? Is it the ‘exclusivity talk’ or, like my friend Lisa, just wait till you run into him with another woman? It’s true, they had never discussed exclusivity but she had said that just the thought of being with another man would be like trying to eat just ONE more spicy salmon roll when you know you are already full and he was dating other women like it was the most natural thing in the world!
Poor girl, after him she promised to only date rich men she hated to spare herself from getting hurt.
After a day of listening to men and women hate on each other I felt something in the pit of my stomach that reminded me of my own relationship woes. I had too many to count. And now that I think of it, they all ended because of monogamy (or lack there of). Has monogamy become too much to ask? Can a wondering eye stay in the socket or does it have to stretch as far as… too far?
I went to my closet and grabbed my favorite little black mini that really hugged my hips and dragged myself to meet my sister who tried to stun my tortured soul senseless with Grey Goose and lime.
In no time at all she had me feeling great about my situation. I live alone with no dependants, I come and go as I please with nobody to answer to and while I wouldn’t be completely opposed to finding a nice guy to be monogamous with, I’m not out searching for him. And if he finds me, I’ll break up with him whenever he becomes predictable.
About 5 minutes after Mr. Tan had sat down with us, my sister had decided he was an utter asshole, just how she had decided all men were assholes but I still found him amusing. We were surrounded by gorgeous successful people under 30. They were all embracing and flaunting fidelity and infidelity. I guess in the end, monogamy is a nice idea and it is coveted by men and women alike. I think it’s all in the timing. Have fun, be spontaneous and do what feels right. Maybe there’s no such thing as cupid in 2007 but there will always be great parties to attend, great friends to compare horror stories with, hot guys or girls to keep your mind off the ass who cheated, and a big sister to get you drunk when you don’t take her advice on the one who wasn’t worth your time in the first place.
Be sure to visit IDM daily for great articles and don’t miss our regular contributor Cailean every Tuesday.
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6:08 pm - 6:08 pm
I have to agree with your sis. She seems like a smart girl….all men are assholes! If they’re not thinking with their penis, they are acting directly on it’s behalf (favorite quote from a movie) It is nice to have one around to put out the garbage and open stuck jars of olives for your martinis, though.
You rock, Tuesday is my new favorite day. Loves!!
1:24 am - 1:24 am
No one will argue that being spontaneous and carefree is fun, and everyone needs to experience that if they haven’t; but some of the experiences that stem from being tied to nothing is what leaves a bitter taste in so many people’s mouths, because the majority of people involved in these experiences lack the characteristics that make a monogamous relationship worthwhile. We have all had at least a glimpse of what it feels like to be comfortable with someone that you know could keep your mind occupied and off the rest of the world forever. They often times present themselves as the result of spontaneity. These glimpses sometimes give us hope, sometimes leaves us more cynical out anger that it didn’t last, and many times are short lived solely do to the fact that we push them away out of fear. However, if we are ever fortunate enough to catch more than just a mere glimpse, the skeptic in us will fade, and we will all start giving drastically different advice.
10:05 am - 10:05 am
interesting article, but – can a girl write a sex(y) column without plagiarizing “sex and the city”? i understand that you’re trying to be provocative, but you might start with being original.
12:51 am - 12:51 am
I think girls need to stop hating eachother.
I love this column. I read every Tuesday. There are many similarities to Sex and the City in a lot of what she writes but using the word ‘plagiarizing’ seems a bit much.
I’ll continue to come back every tuesday.
5:37 am - 5:37 am
Plagiarizing is a rather harsh term to cast down on someone. Especially when the concepts of love, fidelity, monogamy are so human and present in all of our lives. I have never watched much of Sex and the City but I do believe that women probably like the show because of the realities that it creates, the stories, the myths and its view on dating and culture… etc. I am an avid Seinfeld fan and I could probably find a Seinfeld situation for any real life situation. Good comedy, tv etc… is good because it plays on who we are as humans. It has an element that we can all relate to. In reality the stories we tell and see happen all the time in each of our lives we see similar situations and this is why we relate to the stories.
2:10 pm - 2:10 pm
of course, i too think that “plagiarism” is a strong term, but what i had referred to was not the general themes of love, fidelity, and monogamy referenced by D, but to actual phrases from columns from “sex” (and consequently from the hbo scripts) that had been seemingly dragged and dropped into this column.
it’s not about hating other women or being “unsupportive.” i think that some women dislike and tear each other down in jealousy or discomfort, or to express some kind of alpha-female status. i wasn’t remarking in that vein, but rather as a fellow writer, who was disappointed by the uncharacteristic lack of ingenuity in this column. i do rather enjoy cailean’s column, and the original material i’ve come to expect from it. hence my disappointment when i’d realized that i’d encountered not only the same themes, but the same clever phrases elsewhere.
i hope that clears things up.
1:42 pm - 1:42 pm
I have definitely watched my fair share of sex and the city episodes!
Lots more real life original posts to come in 2008:) thanks for reading!