This week’s guest post is by Hydro from  www.openseduction.blogspot.com

Hydro’s Top 5 tips to get laid on Vacation!!

1. Talk to everybody.

Vacations are that time of the year where everybody is out there to have fun therefore everybody is going to be friendly with you. People that live on vacation spots are used to talk to tourists and they’re awkwardly friendly most of the times… so talk to everybody, the hotel manager, the waitress, the taxi driver EVERYBODY!!. If you get into a talkative mode before going out it’ll be easy for you start conversations with new women.

2. Be confident.

I know all the puas and everybody say this but it’s necessary, EVEN on vacations. You have to be sure of who you are and what do you want, so women will be more attracted to you. The best way to be confident during vacations is to DON’T GIVE A FUCK about anything. Yup that’s the best and easier way to be confident. Vacations are meant to be fun so don’t waste your time thinking what other people would think about you. They don’t care so shouldn’t either. Anyways you won’t see them ever again…

3. Go to a popular vacation spot.

If what you want on your vacations is sex and fun go to a popular vacation spot. It doesn’t have to be an expensive one but one that you know that gets crowded. Before going to anyplace check over the internet what people are saying about that place and do some research about that place so you would know which clubs you should visit.

4. Take it easy with the drinks.

I know some people no need more reason than a break to fall into drinking and get shit-faced but I mean you can do it but if what you’re looking is sex (and I assume you are cause you’re reading my blog) then DO NOT get fucked up!! I mean you can have some drinks and have fun but your goal is to score women!! Women will be drunk as well and 2 drunk people aren’t a good combination for sex (one or the other will be throwing out BELIEVE ME !! hahaha ) so if what you’re looking for is sex, don’t get drunk…

5 be aware of your cock-blocking friends.

Almost nobody goes on vacation alone, and well I’ve had some experiences where if I get laid and my friends don’t they try everything to cock-block me… I know friends can act weird sometimes, so a good idea would be to ask the hotel manager for 2 or 3 keys of your room so all of your friends can have one and they won’t be bothering you when you’re laying on this hot girl’s hot tub …

Disclaimer – Guest posts do not always reflect the views of IDM. We offer them to mix up content on here and allow you, the reader to make the call on whether you agree or disagree. We look forward to hearing your thoughts on our guest contributor posts buy commenting at the bottom of each post. – Jay

How to date cougars!!

Have you ever been at work, school or even the supermarket when you see that SUPER hot girl, who looks more like a godness than a woman? Who looks more like an impossible challenge than an easy test???? Well she is called cougar or MILF!

According to Urbandictionary.com a MILF is a “mother, whether married, separated or divorced, that a male individual sees as physical attractive enough to want to have sexual intercourse with them”.

During my life I have seen so many milf’s so I started to think why almost nobody hits on them??? Why they are all by themselves or just getting approached by are douche bags and AFC’s which they tend to reject??…

Since I would love everybody to have sex (because is something that you can’t reject and that you also will love to have ) I started to hit on them and after a few minutes I found my answer…

Cougars (mostly) are a type of woman who likes to be on control, who are also cold sometimes and they don’t look for relationships or love. Most of the cougars out there are just looking for sex and fun. You can find them on the super market (as I said before) and maybe they won’t be looking for fun. However if you hit on them on Day game should be easier for you to get her number and call her another day.

When approaching cougars I strongly recommend you to use “Direct game”. Even though they’ve been approached for so many years they don’t want a cheesy line or a romantic line, they are probably tired of that, in my experience (as I said before) most of they just want SEX. Yes you read it well. Is it really weird to think that after 40 or 50 years of having a romance you just want sex and cut all the bullshit, problems and drama????

The most common rejection happens when they’re married or living a live with a partner and they DON’T want to cheat on him. Well if this is the case you would like to try to look for another girl, or if you like her so much and you do not care about hurting other people involved with her, you can use this method being persistent (not stalking her) and I’m pretty sure that eventually it will make her cheat (which I wouldn’t recommend though).

During the talking, speak about topics which are interesting for all the people. Talk about your “adventures” and also about traveling, food, movies. Interesting topics that she might like, Also remember to let her talk, something really important while gaming milf’s is to listen to what they’re saying. If you pay attention to what she says she might find you interesting to talk to (however I said “pay attention” I don’t mean that you should let her talk and talk and talk, she might want to lead the conversation but you can have some threads and change the topic if you feel uncomfortable with it and also if you are not having fun with the conversation just run away. The most important person in here is you).

Social Circle is very important. Although the value that being with lots of girls can bring you, some cougars feel that they’re better than younger girls. This may be because of the experience that they think they have against young people. So if you are in a night club surrounded of cute girls and all that they probably will flirt with you and they will also try to compete (as all the girls do) for you. (Doesn’t it sound lovely???)

When approaching a cougar try to be confident. A cougar is not a little girl who needs protection, they may be really secure and want to be in control of the situation (because they’re used to it) don’t let her. J let her think she has control but eventually make her realize that you are the “King of the world”.

Cougars may want somebody who can take control of the situation and lead them. Cougars have been approached all their lives so they are used to get approached by the same lines, as an advice try to approach them with a good funny line, or something direct.

Another very important thing to remember is to NEVER stop sexual escalation. A cougar in a night club isn’t looking for a “New Best Friend” and she may blow you off.  On the other hand if you do not stop being sexual with her she may feel that you know what you want and also that you are not just wasting your time.

As a conclusion I may want to give you 5 tips to hit on cougars, read them carefully and enjoy

1 – Try to be direct while hitting on her but also funny. As many other girls cougars just want to have fun so make her love your company and enjoy herself.

2 – Create lots of attraction. Because girls like these just want to have fun, creating attraction will make the conversation more fluently and also will add spice to the interaction.

3 – Never (yeah never!!) ask for her age. Even though cougars can be really confident and secure of themselves. Asking an old girl for her age couldn’t be polite. And also remember that she is older and well you can kill the attraction** already created by asking this.

4 – Don’t talk with her about her family, children etc… if she tries to talk about her family change the topic. Cougars have lived so long that talking about this could make her realize that what she’s doing is not 100% approved by society, (i. e maybe you are the same age of her son… )

5- Move to another location after you meet her. Most cougars have been through lots of things in their lives and if you meet her in a public area she may feel uncomfortable hooking up with you there. The reason why this happens is because of their age, they have a reputation to take care of. They may have important positions on important companies, business or even husbands who watch them. Remember gossip never sleeps .

A Girls Guide– Sam Sharpe

About a month ago, I was spilling my single sorrows to my wonderfully straight platonic life partner, Logan, and for the first time he must have been sick of it because he looked at me and said plainly “Sam, you’re too fucking picky”. He was right. In the many months that I have been single, which almost add up to a year, I have been on exactly twenty-two first dates, only three of which leaded to a second date, and none became anything more than a bad memory.  Eventually, out of boredom and frustration, I started suggesting the same restaurant, at the same time, ordered the same dish, and got the same disapproving looks from the wait staff. I stopped caring because I knew not one of them would hold my interest for longer than a night. So what did they all do wrong?

The first guy to make it past the first date was, Alex, Mr. Perfect-on-Paper. Owned his own company, house, car and all before he was thirty. He was styled like he walked out of GQ. He came from a great family, and they raised him well. I met his friends on our second date, and they all thought the world of him. He was secure, and stable, but mostly I liked him because of how much he liked me. After only a week, he was willing to do anything to make me happy. Despite of all of this, he was as dull as dishwater. He had no interest in anything that didn’t fit the mould and suit a purpose. Alex was a serial monogamist. Since high school the longest he had gone without a girlfriend was three months. Everything he did was to get girl, or for the girl. He gave himself no time to find out what he liked. The most exciting thing about him was that he took salsa lessons, but even this he did because it was a great work out and he thought it would be a great thing to know for when he got married. Marriage. Nope, I’m not kidding. He talked about marriage. Never, ever, talk about marriage with a girl after only a month. If a girl is worth having, she is just as scared of the M word as you are, especially after a month. Don’t be this guy. Find out what you love, remember that having a girl doesn’t validate you as an awesome catch.

Okay, that restaurant I mentioned that I started taking all my dates to, well one of them didn’t look at me like a was a bitch, in fact it was here that I found number two. While date number fifteen was in the washroom, Graham, our server, sat down and gave me his number. Bold move. He found my weak spot. I am a sucker for confidence. If the guy watched me come in night after night with a different date, each one more impressive than the last, and still believed he had something to offer me that the others couldn’t, there is no way I am going to say no. Never be afraid to take a chance, be brave. Girls love a guy who goes after what he wants, especially if it’s her. He had such a passion for life, good food, good drink, books, and art. He was everything Alex wasn’t. He didn’t offer the stability but he offered stimulation. He was amazing to be around. He was super polite, opened doors, took my arm when we crossed the street. An absolute gentleman. I started to think he was too good to be true. I wasn’t wrong. All the confidence he portrayed in life didn’t make it to the bedroom. In bed he over played everything. His idea of good sex was figuring out how many different positions we could do it in. I was flipped, twisted, and manoeuvred, into every position he could pretzel me into. (Note: This can be good, if, and only if, you’ve mastered the orgasm.) Unfortunately, I was too busy making sure my back was flexed properly in downward facing dog to give a shit what was happening to my vagina. Maybe, over time, I could have taught him, but why bother when there is another guy willing to try harder.

Jake was wiling to try. He was an interning architect for an amazing firm; he was attractive, well dressed, confident, and oh so smart we could talk about anything. Immediately I was impressed. Normally when I am working I don’t take anyone seriously when they hit on me, it’s part of the job to be a flirt. Something every guy should know. Servers flirt with you for the tip. That’s the truth, get used to it. However, occasionally, you get one who catches your interest. Jake did this wonderfully. He asked me questions about myself, and not the typical where do you go to school, where are you from? He asked me if I could live in any city in the world which would it be? What’s my favourite building in the world? These questions were great because they allowed me to talk about my time in Paris, and they worked to his advantage because then he got to talk about something he was passionate about. He made it a date without ever asking me, so when he actually did, I felt like I knew him already. Now, I have to take some credit for the Jay debacle. I fucked it up. Because he was the first guy I actually wanted to be with in such a long time I put the pressure on. We went a month with him just calling me once a week to go out. Granted he was busy, getting his masters and working full time, but I wanted someone that was around more than once a week, and I told him this. He took it as me being needy; we hadn’t had enough dates for him to know this couldn’t be farther from the truth. After my one demand of “ I would like to see you more than once a week”, he freaked and stopped calling. I just liked him and, to be honest, I wanted to fuck him silly. My advice to guys, don’t assume all girls are the same.

I like honesty. Aren’t we all getting tired of games? It’s games that got  us at this confused in the first place. If we never just say what we think, how are we supposed to know what anyone is thinking?  Okay, so maybe I dated all these guys at the same time, that doesn’t necessarily makes me dishonest. Jake was the only one who didn’t know, and maybe if he hadn’t freaked, we would be living in sexual non-monogamous bliss right now. Granted, not all girls are like me. I wanted to share these stories mostly so that men now just how picky girls can be, or at least the confident ones are. Most of the great women am acquainted with know exactly what they want, and the smallest things can completely turn them off a guy. Just like the smallest things, like me demanding to see Jake more, can turn a guy off. There is such a lack of understanding between the sexes. I want to help guys learn about women, because in the long run, it helps the women. It is no secret than most men are clueless when it comes to what woman want, but the more I read, the more I can’t help but agree with what the guys here have to say. They have somehow managed to create the perfect man, attentive lover, thoughtful, exciting; all around just gives a shit.

This Week we are featuring a Guest Post from Hans Comijn.

The Source of Attraction and The Paradox of Love

In my quest for beauty, my desire to celebrate and be immersed in female energy, I often wonder what it is in women that I love so much. I travel a lot with Zan, and when asked “What is it you miss the most during your travels?” the answer for me goes along the lines of “a place of rest… with a woman who comforts and nurtures me”. As Zan puts it, “My head on a woman’s breast, with her caressing my hair and telling me everything will be all right…” And I wonder… could it be that this image describes the essence of a woman – she nurturing me, the traveller, taking care of me, providing a place where I can lay my head to rest… is that the core of female energy?
I also wonder if my traveling is the essence of male energy.

The adventurer, out there in the wilderness, the warrior on a mission, caught up in something bigger, the man with a purpose. And if these images are meaningful articulations of male and female energy, then those differences in energy seem like a very viable source for the attraction between men and women, do they not? Going vs nurturing. She is attracted to, and enamored by, purposeful men, men who go. She wants to nurture the warrior.
Everywhere we go, women ask us how they can “land that guy”. She wants to bring home the adventurer, domesticate the one that seems ‘undomesticable’. And he, the traveller, the adventurer, misses and is attracted to the nurturing qualities of women. He loves to be taken care of. He loves to come ‘home’ after he was out there in the wilderness, following his purpose. If this makes any kind of sense, could it also be then that those differences in energy not only provide a viable source for the attraction between men and women, but that they also lie at the core of the paradox of love and many of the concerns and issues we have in terms of approaching, dating and relationships between men and women?

Is it not true that as soon as she ‘lands that guy’, as soon as she has brought home the adventurer she longed for, she starts losing her attraction for him?

Is it not true that as soon as he settles and stops going, as soon as he gives up his purpose and she becomes the adventure, he kills the man in him and the possibility to make her feel like a woman?

Why do we settle? Why do we almost invariably choose to instantly get rid of the pang of missing someone by choosing ‘forever’? Is what we think we want ignoring our very male and female core?

Could it be that what we think we want will not make us happy in the long run?

She thinks that what she really wants is to land that guy. She is convinced that bringing home the adventurer forever will make her happy. And he misses the place to rest she provides so much that he thinks he should settle. So he does, and they settle for each other. But maybe, in the process of settling, they overlook that the apparent paradox of love is also the very source of their attraction. Maybe she needs to claim, maybe she needs to try to bring him home, and maybe he needs to go anyway… in the name of attraction, in the name of all women and men.

Maybe you need to give her gift of missing you. Maybe you need to disappear, reappear and celebrate her… each time with newness and excitement, fully recharged with male energy. Like it is new all over again.
Maybe she deserves that…

~ Hans Comijn
Way of Attraction

Hans works and travels with Zan Perrion on his “Ars Amorata: a 90 Day Transformation” program:
- The revampled Ars Amorata program will be launched in January and you will be able to be a part of it from any city in the world!  Updates here: www.zanperrion.com/arsamorata.php or send us an email expressing your interest.
-You can become a friend of the “Ars Amorata” page on Facebook, where you can follow the Gypsy Caravan – www.facebook.com/arsamorata
and find out more about our Amorati network: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=140358111691&id=105365474264&ref=mf
- After 3 years we will hold another Weekend Intensive, Las Vegas, Jan 29 – Jan 31 2010
An announcement will be made soon on facebook, on www.zanperrion.com and on our forum www.naturalgame.com.

(“T” has been featured in David Deangelo’s Interviews with Dating Gurus series and a host of other seminars on women and dating. We welcome him to the IDM. Also note: That is NOT him in the picture above…ha ha)

For the past several years I have always found texting to be a quick and easy way to create sexual attraction. I am not sure if wit and cunning humor can be taught or if it is something that can be practiced and learned over time, but if you find that you posses witty, playful and sometimes downright dirty humor then by all means use it. If you like movie references, Watch the movie Dangerous Liaisons. I love moments such as those I am about to share with you. They create a great connection and there is so much you can do to amp desire between the two of you before you even get face to face, before you even say another word… it’s amazing..

People often will tell me they’ve heard that women want to sleep with me within 5 minutes of meeting me or that I have had sex without speaking another word to her once we’ve exchanged numbers and they want to know how it works. Over the next few installments of this newsletter I’ll address doing just that, plus anything sex, anything sensual and anything fashion that readers would like to learn more about. Here are a few fun things to say, and playful examples of textual flirting. In one example below you can see the entire process, how it builds and how the result is, well, how can it be anything other than great sex?

Additional comments to give you necessary background or eliminate a name have been enclosed in parenthesis

her: Long time no txt. Do you want 2 hook up later?
me: Hi! I just finished dancing the opening to a show or the answer would have been yes.

———————

(days later of not hearing from her)
me: I need some space. Don’t call me so much
(GREAT way to get on her for not getting back to you)
her: u r 2 funny! How have you been.
me: I’ve been great. (small breakdown of my life here) Did you get the new job you wanted?
her: Glad to hear things are going so well! Had an interview last week. I’m singing in church next week.
me: I’m thinking maybe afternoon sex today before 5
her: Sure, I have an hour break here in (city). Come on down

———————

me: where are you?
her: (los Angeles)
me: ah! Why are you always in (los Angeles) when we’re ready to play. Wish I could apparate.
her: I’m a scrabble queen and the word apparate dos not exist. Would you like to replace it with another one?
me: Apparate / Disapparate: to appear and vanish at ones own will. You can look it up on Wikipedia. They’re words that have enjoyed new found popularity with the release of Rowling’s epic novels. You may now call me king.
her: You are a crack up! I still don’t think that would count in scrabble! Ha! I’ll have to think about the king thing.
me: Consider the phrase “(her name)Alexis spent many loathsome nights in the company of other men until at last, to her delight, I would apparate inside her….”
her: ha! I love it.

———————

Me: There were faaaaaaaar too many large breasted women running around the house last night. That shouldn’t be allowed
(note: do NOT send this to a small breasted woman)
Her: haha! You poor thing

———————

me: I’ve just found your panties
her: are you serious? LOL oops
me: Quite. Thinking I should hang them over the door since I don’t have any bed posts
her: ha ha ha what you should do is store them somewhere until I can get them from you
me: Oh I don’t know, maybe displaying them prominently above the Christmas wreath is best… I’ll wash them in cold water first
her: ha. thanks

———————

this is great:

her: So I am eating dove chocolates and on the inside of the wrapper it has little messages. I’ve gotten the same messages 3 times. Temptation is fun….giving in is even better. I find it interesting.
(a message like this comes in guys and you’re done, you’re in)
me: I take action after 2 times, but 3x is a must. I feel certain you find it a bit more than interesting.
(NOTE: guys, I did not write: Great! Come over!)
her:True
me: “Necessary” might be more apt. A pulsing through your body that throbs my name over and over…
me: ha! That’s what I take Dove to mean anyway
her: LOL
me: So who are you eating tonight and when are we going to eat chocolates?
her: No plans for anyone tonight LOL. And whenever you want on the chocolates
(you’re definitely definitely in)
me: is it to late in the evening to have you stay with me tonight?
her: Maybe, I can tomorrow night
her: I must say, spending the night is tempting, maybe I should listen to my chocolate.
(me alternative: chocolate can never steer you wrong. My place in 1-3 hours? But I said:)
me: That would be an excellent piece of advice. Consider seeing me in 1-3 hours and I’ll block out the night for us
her: deal

———————

On the dirty side:
On the way to my house she calls to tell me:
Her: I’m heading in your direction
Me: You’re heading toward my erection?? What!!
(fortunately she was indeed headed toward it)

———————

Me: You have amazing lips. What is your address?
Her: As do you. (address)
Me: we should make out sometime soon
Her: I agree. When can my amazing lips touch yours?
Me: Tomorrow at 420 works great for me
Her: see you then

———————

So there it is. Short but fun! I’ll talk to you all soon. Don’t be afraid to take chances, to be playful, to flirt your ass off but to always be authentic and heart centered. This last sentence is perhaps the best piece of advice I can offer.

Have a story to share? Comment below.

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Q: I am very pretty, smart and independent. I normally don’t have a problem meeting men, but all they seem to want is a physical relationship. What am I doing wrong?

A: This is a bit of a tricky question. There are many reasons why a man would only want a physical relationship with you… Do you sleep with him on the first or second date? Do you pursue him? Do you dress slutty and then wonder why men don’t take you seriously? Did you answer by nodding ‘yes’, ‘yes’ and ‘yes’?
Well, I don’t want to get a bunch of hate mail after this, believe me, I have had my fair share of nights dressing slutty during a night out at the clubs. (My girlfriends and I blame it on ovulation). Sad to say though, a lot of men still believe in the old double standard. They are encouraged to screw around and are often patted on the back for sleeping with a variety of people but they definitely don’t want a girlfriend who does. And if he meets a beautiful woman who is hard to get, he’ll pursue her like VIP tickets to the Stanley Cup playoffs.
Here’s my advice, take it or leave it: Save the make-out session for the 3^rd or 4^th date. I know it’s hard but try your best. Build a friendship with him. Cut it off after 2^nd base and wait to see if he asks you out again. If he calls for another date, you’ll know he’s really into you. If you never hear from him again, cut your losses and remember it’s not your fault, but you might want to reconsider the guys you are choosing to go out with. There will always be guys who only want to sleep with you. You are fabulous, why wouldn’t they?! Just remember that if he really wants YOU and not just your hot bod, he won’t mind waiting. And if he’s really boyfriend material, he’ll respect your mind AND your body.

Q: My girlfriend never wants to sleep over at my apartment. She sometimes comes over late, has sex with me and then makes an excuse to leave in the middle of the night. What do you think is going on?

A: How do I put this delicately…? She is not your girlfriend. You are her bootie call! Have you talked about your relationship? Are you even sure you have one? Does she consider you her boyfriend? Has the word “boyfriend” and your name ever appeared in the same sentence? Sorry if this sounds cruel but I really like this girl! It’s not very often I get mail from MEN wondering why a girl won’t spend the night with him.
Do you enjoy the sex? If so, here’s my advice, take it or leave it: consider yourself lucky. You are the object of a woman’s sexual affection. This doesn’t happen very often. You must be very sexy. And if you are enjoying the sex but want a little more of an emotional connection, explain it to her. Tell her how you feel. If she is still only into it for the nookie, tell her you need more and go find a girl who likes to sleep in… with you!

Come see me again next Tuesday! I have a secret to share…

I like the feeling of being perceived as a hot guy. I’m not deluded by it nor do I think it’s the be all end all of anything, it’s just a sensation I enjoy. Women have so much power in this arena that they command men with the slightest glance or flip of the hair and as far as I’m concerned, I want in. So my idea of sexy went something like this: A&F muscle fit white polo with the collar standing straight up and the neck of the shirt sitting wide on the chest so you see a large triangle of my neck line not tiny bit of skin. Military green A&F rugged sentinel jacket, belt with a sideways cross as the buckle pulled to one side, loose jeans that I can move in, Italian shoes, great cologne and a green military cap pulled down over my eyes and to the right. Looking at me dead on you catch my gaze but the first thing you notice is my jaw line, mouth, unshaved face and the low hat. Now guys, I’m not trying to write gay porn here; but you’ve got to get a visual to see how this works. Dressing like that changes things. It changes the way you feel, the way you walk and the way people respond to you. It changes the attention that women give you and also the respect (or jealousy) that men throw your way. It’s like being in costume. Women are in costume all the time: makeup, heels, jewelry, earrings, skirts, racy tops, hairstyles, beads, charms, stones, nail polish… come on. Just think Halloween and you’ve got your costume on—you can break out of who you are no matter how tame or wild you normally are.
Alright, so dinner was fun and afterwards we made our way to the club next door. It was early and we were one of 10 people there so far but that didn’t stop the smoke machines from spilling out in the room, the music banging, the huge Chinese lanterns above from glowing luminescent and a trio of Belvedere vodka girls from approaching us to sample their poison. My friend is a sexy little thing that’s nearly 40 but she is from an older generation so her dancing mixing with my breed of dancing is a little unique to watch but we did well and drew some positive attention. Finally the floor filled and within the hour, as is wont to happen in club environments, standing room is about all you get to try and do your thing. Bouncers were protecting the bottle service territory i.e. every possible booth in the place one might sit.
At some point probably close to midnight either the DJ got intelligent or got switched out and he stopped abruptly switching songs from 70s to 2000’s without so much of a fade in and finally put on some really good hip hop. You can generally feel the energy of the room change when a DJ mixes well. It’s a building, an increase of energy, an excitement… like being mile high on X in front of a wall of speakers at a rave during a techno drum climax with glow sticks… Yeah anyway.
My friend needs to get up early the next day and leaves juuuuuuuuuuuust as a couple of very cute girls make their way over to me. One is wearing silk and here’s where it gets good. I’m fascinated by the power of dance. Done right it’s like a mating call or a call to action. If you could put into words the response that a woman has when she sees someone dancing that excites her, once you clear out all of her self-talk garbage like “Oh, he dances better than me and I don’t want him to look better than me, or I’m the woman and that’s intimidating, or it’s girls night or I have a boyfriend I shouldn’t feel this way” it would sound something like:
“I’m yours. If you want to, you can just put yourself inside me now, but I’d rather you tease me a little bit. Make me feel sexy. Make me feel like a woman. Touch me, grind me and move like a man. Confidently, aggressively… You don’t even have to say a word. Just take me, I’m yours.” Yup.
So we have a little of that going on and within moments my hands are presented with full access to a very round ass that’s being thrust on me, legs, chest and whatever else… Just play with it nicely says her energy… I can do that.
30 minutes of this and dancing off each other and crunking out — wait am I allowed to say that as a white guy? — and we get some air outside. My favorite part: “I’m Jessica by the way,” she says, accompanied by an outstretched hand begging for a formal hand shake. Our bodies just finished speaking a very different language inside the club, and yet, here is this hand and name introduction. I know what your body feels like but now let’s shake hands. It’s just odd but girls do it. I politely shake and pull her in for a hug.
Women, or people rather respond in kind so my energy is calibrated to be calm, friendly and more and more these days as REAL as I can possibly be. I just do me.
The more I look at this girl and her friend who by the way is celebrating her birthday and flits in and out of our conversation, the more they look familiar—always a good sign. So, we’re talking, she asks a lot of questions and birthday girl comes back to the mix. Now I am introduced again by name and she says “OH! That’s a unique name! That’s the same name our dance and yoga instructor had from a long time ago, remember Jess?” Well, turns out I WAS their dance and yoga instructor FIVE years ago. They thought “awkward,” but I thought hilarious, and then as the friend always does, she says, “Take good care of her she’s a good girl,” and birthday girl goes home.
Law of attraction is a faithful companion. It is there in every moment to tell you exactly what you’re putting out and exactly what you’re getting in return. It’s a constant signal responding to how you’re thinking and feeling; not 4 years ago, as a child, in high school or even last year, but now right now. Now right now. Now right now. But still I am happily amazed how I literally did not know a soul in this club of 300 people and who do I gravitate towards? Who do I get lined up with? These two. So cool.
Now believe it or now I am not going to tell you the story of how I then told her I was leaving and asked if she was too, gave her a ride to her car, smoothly invited her over, she followed me to my house, went right to my bedroom climbed in my bed and fucked like crazy as it rained outside until we exhausted ourselves.
I am going to tell you the story however of how it was raining, I told her I was leaving and asked if she was too, gave her a ride to her car, smoothly invited her over, she followed me to my house, went right to my bedroom without any alcohol drugs or other, climbed right in my bed and…
Talked. Yeah Talked. For the better part of an hour. I was not attracted to her. And by the way, I strongly advise against fucking a girl just because she’s there, or because she has nice tits or because you’re horny unless you’re really feeling a connection with her. And I don’t mean the most amazing connection of your life, like a jump into a relationship connection, or this is a girl I can date or I love this girl or any of that. I just mean does she get you going? Do you feel that hot energy between you two? Does she make you feel like if you don’t have her then and now the world might just come to and end.

A while back I was eating alone in a restaurant and a gorgeous Ukranian girl took my order. Big blue eyes, long black hair past her bum, enormous full, round perfect breasts, full kissable mouth. Our eyes met and I wanted her. She wound up getting off shortly after and needed a ride home. I offered. After stopping the car in front of her house, moments after meeting her, she told me I could ask for her number and I just smiled, leaned over, cupped my hand around the back of her neck and kissed her. And kissed her. And kissed her. My temperature gauge in the car must have surely been wrong? 106 degrees? It was HOT. A few minutes later she said, “We HAVE to stop, give me your number!” A week later and after some really spectacular sex we were talking about how we met (You can only make comments about how you met, and how attracted you were to each other when you met AFTER you have sex, then it’s a fun topic of conversation) and she said: “I knew it the second our eyes met.” That is what I mean when I say you FEEL it. Pause, pause, pause.

So back to my story of the girl from the club who is in my bed talking to me and is now, now giving me a foot massage. I’m not horny, I am not attracted to her and I really just feel like a massage but I am exhausted. I say, I’m too tired to return the favor she says, it’s ok, just lay here. Relax. It’s ok if you fall asleep, I had fun. I say I’m being a bad host, but I’m just so sleepy… Her hands begin to tighten and squeeze around my shoulders and neck, I feel my face melting into my down pillow and it’s so damn comfortable. I say, you’re gonna put me to sleep with that massage and she says, it’s ok, just enjoy it, I’ll see myself out… And then come the caresses. Who doesn’t love to be caressed softly by a woman? Caresses on my arm, on my face, on my cheek. Am I in heaven? I peel back an eyelid to look at her and smile in appreciation. She is just there, looking at me, smiling at me, caressing. I let the weight of my body sink into my bed and move my legs slowly around to feel the sheets. Then more caresses just on my face, on my face until…
I’m wake up the next morning. Just me. I’m still marinating in my bed feeling relaxed. That’s not an experience you have every day. That which is like unto itself is drawn: Law of Attraction is a faithful companion. If you’re tuned in it gives you everything you need whenever you ask for it. You can have it however you want it friends. And that was exactly what I needed that night. Any belief, any thought that pops into your mind that tells you otherwise is just the excuse that we use to keep ourselves from it. There is no wrong here, there is no one way here, just the way that we want to create our life. There is something to focusing on seeing what you want to see, believing what you want to believe, and those experiences present themselves to you… always.
Till next time. I’m out.
T

Sexy People never stay single for very long. It’s really easy to get dates, the hard part comes when you have to figure out how to make a relationship last. I had a recent brush with monogamy that has left me feeling a little bit lonely, a little bit older and a little bit wondering if I’ll be an old lady with 20 cats one day. I really don’t want to live my life vicariously through soap operas with itchy eyes and hairballs on my furniture, so after I ended my two month relationship I started to evaluate myself and my ability to be in a long term, monogamous relationship. If I couldn’t make it work with Mr. Perfect then what are my chances with future prospects? I picked up the phone to call my Mom. I’m not exactly sure what I expected from that conversation but it certainly wasn’t “you are mean, rude, way too picky and destined to be alone.” So I hung up and quickly called my sister. She always has a great way of putting things into perspective and after convincing me that Mom didn’t mean it and reminding me that no matter how sad you are, Dane Cook can always make you laugh, I hung up the phone, took a deep breath in, swallowed the lump in my throat and smiled to myself. I’m single again!

Everything that I love about being single came to mind and I skipped over to my closet, pulled on a long salmon colored vintage blouse that I converted into a dress, brown boots from Paris that always seem to make my legs look at least 4 inches longer (European designers really know their stuff) and headed out for drinks with some of my most fabulous single friends and some friends who, while they are a couple, still seem to be having a great time together. Looking around at the group, I start to wonder if my mother is right. Am I destined to be single? Do I make men miserable? The more I questioned myself the more I wanted to know how others deal and what makes them tick in relationships. My friend big J is a serial monogamist. He is always in a relationship and always looking for a way out of it. He has a big heart and I know that deep down inside he wants to stay with one woman forever, he just has a hard time choosing. When I asked him why he broke up with his most recent woman friend, he told me something that is probably pretty common among men, “whatever type of girl I have, I always want the opposite.” Meaning, if the girl he has is tall and thin, he can’t stop eyeing girls with curves, he finally gets the curvy one and can’t stop eyeing the petite version. He is only guilty of loving all women and I find it fascinating. How many men feel this way but keep it to themselves and hold on to what they have even though they are dying to try something new?

Same night, I look across the table at a couple of friends of mine who seem to have it all figured out. Both winners of the genetic lottery, the answer seemed simple. Find someone as hot as you are and live happily ever after. But even hot people get annoying and looks fade so I wonder what will happen to these two in a few years? Will he be out in search of a thinner more youthful version of what he has? And will she be at home waiting patiently for the postman who delivers large packages and tells her she’s the youngest and thinnest of them all? Only time will tell I guess. And I think that’s the key to a great relationship. Time. There’s a time and a place for everything. And right now is my time to be single. Friends are already trying to set me up on dates and it’s only been a week. So here’s my 2008 resolution: Meet as many new men as possible. Flirt with the possibility of a relationship while staying focused on my goals. Next time I have a brush with monogamy I might be ready, but until then I’m going to take my own advice and make plans plans and more plans. So many plans that I couldn’t possibly keep them all. If it turns out that my Mom is right, I’ll be way too busy to notice that I’m alone.

Sexy People never stay single for very long. It’s really easy to get dates, the hard part comes when you have to figure out how to make a relationship last. I had a recent brush with monogamy that has left me feeling a little bit lonely, a little bit older and a little bit wondering if I’ll be an old lady with 20 cats one day. I really don’t want to live my life vicariously through soap operas with itchy eyes and hairballs on my furniture, so after I ended my two month relationship I started to evaluate myself and my ability to be in a long term, monogamous relationship. If I couldn’t make it work with Mr. Perfect then what are my chances with future prospects? I picked up the phone to call my Mom. I’m not exactly sure what I expected from that conversation but it certainly wasn’t “you are mean, rude, way too picky and destined to be alone.” So I hung up and quickly called my sister. She always has a great way of putting things into perspective and after convincing me that Mom didn’t mean it and reminding me that no matter how sad you are, Dane Cook can always make you laugh, I hung up the phone, took a deep breath in, swallowed the lump in my throat and smiled to myself. I’m single again! Everything that I love about being single came to mind and I skipped over to my closet, pulled on a long salmon colored vintage blouse that I converted into a dress, brown boots from Paris that always seem to make my legs look at least 4 inches longer (European designers really know their stuff) and headed out for drinks with some of my most fabulous single friends and some friends who, while they are a couple, still seem to be having a great time together. Looking around at the group, I start to wonder if my mother is right. Am I destined to be single? Do I make men miserable? The more I questioned myself the more I wanted to know how others deal and what makes them tick in relationships. My friend big J is a serial monogamist. He is always in a relationship and always looking for a way out of it. He has a big heart and I know that deep down inside he wants to stay with one woman forever, he just has a hard time choosing. When I asked him why he broke up with his most recent woman friend, he told me something that is probably pretty common among men, “whatever type of girl I have, I always want the opposite.” Meaning, if the girl he has is tall and thin, he can’t stop eyeing girls with curves, he finally gets the curvy one and can’t stop eyeing the petite version. He is only guilty of loving all women and I find it fascinating. How many men feel this way but keep it to themselves and hold on to what they have even though they are dying to try something new?
Same night, I look across the table at a couple of friends of mine who seem to have it all figured out. Both winners of the genetic lottery, the answer seemed simple. Find someone as hot as you are and live happily ever after. But even hot people get annoying and looks fade so I wonder what will happen to these two in a few years? Will he be out in search of a thinner more youthful version of what he has? And will she be at home waiting patiently for the postman who delivers large packages and tells her she’s the youngest and thinnest of them all? Only time will tell I guess. And I think that’s the key to a great relationship. Time. There’s a time and a place for everything. And right now is my time to be single. Friends are already trying to set me up on dates and it’s only been a week. So here’s my 2008 resolution: Meet as many new men as possible. Flirt with the possibility of a relationship while staying focused on my goals. Next time I have a brush with monogamy I might be ready, but until then I’m going to take my own advice and make plans plans and more plans. So many plans that I couldn’t possibly keep them all. If it turns out that my Mom is right, I’ll be way too busy to notice that I’m alone.

Once upon a time there was a girl. She was blonde and fabulous and only slept on 600 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets (anything less makes me itchy). The girl was single and happy with wonderful friends, family and shoes. Her days were spent working with beautiful people and her nights were spent with great music, good wine and sometimes a dog named Chi. Being one of very few single girls in her group of friends, she found herself getting an awful lot of advice on how to find Mr. Right. Every day she was hearing about this single guy at that office and if she just did this instead of that she might be able to keep a man. The girl was getting sick and tired of hearing it! She knew quite a few single men who didn’t get this kind of attack for not being a part of a couple! So why is it that every time she turned around alone she was getting that look of pity? It’s quite obvious that double standards still exist between men and women in 2007 and to be completely honest, the girl quite enjoyed these standards. She loved having doors opened for her, flowers, candies and surprise gifts sent to her workplace, making the other women jealous, and she can’t quite remember the last time she noticed how much dinner for two costs at any of her favorite restaurants, but can’t there be a line drawn somewhere? If a single man is living his life alone, in an apartment with a dog, a la George Clooney, he was considered a mysterious bachelor. When a woman chose this lifestyle she was considered a spinster with a lack of ambition. The girl found this perplexing and decided to investigate further. She pulled on her favorite Juicy Couture t-shirt that read “Dude, where’s my couture?” across the chest and the newest addition to her denim collection, her Rich & Skinny sleek Godiva-Wash slim fit jeans. She kissed Chi on the head and secretly wished all men adored her in the way a dog could, and then she continued along. Halfway down her street she saw something shiny sticking out from behind a tree. It was a lamp almost completely covered in leaves. The girl was much too fabulous to pick through dirt so she asked the closest man to pick it out for her. “Excuse me?” she said. “I dropped my lamp, could you pick it out of that pile of leaves for me?” after staring at the girls chest for what seemed like a dog’s age, he bent over and picked up the lamp while keeping his eyes focused on the blonde. He handed over the lamp and mumbled something which sounded like “I’ve got your couture right here….”
The blonde girl thanked him kindly and ignored that last statement.
She held the lamp in her hand and she knew right then and there she had found something special. She quickly returned to her apartment, took off her shoes and sat in the middle of her floor with the lamp. Everyone knows how this story goes, so she began to rub the lamp. What happened next might shock you but it didn’t shock the blonde. She had always been a dreamer and knew it was only a matter of time before her dreams came true: A handsome Genie emerged from the lamp after a puff of blue and pink smoke granting the blonde girl 3 wishes. Her first wish was for her family and friends to be happy and healthy. Her second wish was for three closets full of Chanel. But before she could make her third and final wish, the genie stopped her. “Be careful what you wish for,” he said, “it will come true.” She told the genie to stop being so bossy. She had been waiting for this moment all her life! She knew exactly what her third and final wish would be!
No more socks with sandals.

If you would like to continue the discussion on double standards in 2007 please comment below or send questions to Cailean@idatemodels.com
And for a more detailed list of do’s and don’ts of men’s fashion through the eyes of a fabulous woman, please come back next Tuesday when we will be showcasing before and after shots that will truly knock your socks off( and out of the sandals)!