I Date Models
Do you?
For the Ladies – How to land Mr. Right this summer.
Jun 3rd
Most guys I know feel that they don’t need help with their game (they do, we all do), whether their game is used for meeting dozens of beautiful models or just talking to that one special girl we all could use a little help. On the other side of the coin women have a deeper understanding that they could use a little help landing Mr. Right, nearly once a week a female friend comes forward and asks me for some help. Here is IDM’s definitive guide to meeting and landing Mr. Right this summer.
Traditionally, meeting Mr. Right is more of a passive activity, this guide will focus on being actively passive. More or less, making sure you are putting the best ingredients together for him to approach.
Looks – Physical attraction is important, millions of years of evolution ensured that we are looking for a healthy mate that will produce viable offspring, even though we aren’t battling sabre toothed tigers those evolutionary bi-products are still there. You should look good when you leave the house, teeth should be clean and white, hair should be clean looking, clothing should be well fitting and feminine. Final message: You don’t want to leave the house looking like Sue Sylvester.
Health – More and more health is becoming important, start going to the gym, quit smoking and cut the sugar out of your diet. We don’t all want to date Marissa Miller, but we do want someone that cares about their health, you can be curvy, skinny or a big beautiful woman, but you should still be healthy. Final message: We don’t want you getting winded walking from the car nor do we want you blowing away on a windy day, we are looking for a life partner after all.
Confidence – I hear “I’m just an average girl” more than I can count. No one wants to date an average girl, no one wants to be average, just because you aren’t a Victoria Secret model that has a Nobel prize and Olympic medal doesn’t mean you are average. What average says to me? is you are willing to settle, you are bored with your life, tell me you are passionate, tell me you aren’t average, maybe you love Star Trek and love playing indoor soccer, that makes you unique. Instead of telling me you are just like everyone else (then why wouldn’t I want to date everyone else?) tell me why you aren’t like everyone else. Final Message – We want someone who is confident, motivated and happy.
Location – Not just for real estate. If you find Nerds sexy, chances are you aren’t going to meet them at some trashy downtown bar. If you want to meet a Doctor stop hanging out at Law School. What I’m getting at that you need to figure out what you are looking for in a man and then put yourself into the circle. Join a summer sports league, join a wine tasting group, join a guild of elves, really, it doesn’t matter what, but that you are actually taking a step forward to meeting the right person. Too many girls go to work, come home, go out with friends and that’s it, those are not ideal situations to meet Mr. Right. Final Message – You meet a guy that appreciates art at a gallery, not at a night club.
Stay tuned for part 2.
How to write a dating profile part 3. – For the ladies
Apr 20th
IDM’s guide to writing a girl’s dating profile:
Listen up girls, we’ve spent the last few months looking at dating profiles, getting messages from girls on ours and evaluating what’s out there. Your goal with your dating profile is to ultimately meet someone and have some form of relationship with them. Here is our official guide to get the most and the best possible responses.
Photos matter – Whether your photos are public or not you should have 3 photos – one head shot, one full body shot, and one photo of you doing something that you love to do. Guys are visual when we look for a car we want to see the car before we buy it, knowing the specs alone won’t get us excited. We don’t want to be surprised that you are 100lbs when we were expecting a full figured goddess and vice a versa. If your photos are not public, when you message a guy, attach the photos, he’s not going to reply to a faceless creature, we want to know what you look like. If we aren’t attracted to you then you are wasting both your time and ours. Don’t post photos of your kids, your dog, your cat or your fish, it’s ok to have any of those but let’s ease us into that.
Most of the profiles have the same style “about me”. Have a look through at some other girls profiles then write yours make sure you are different, make sure you use punctuation, proper spelling and avoid slang. Don’t be afraid to be playful or to state what you are looking for and what you are not looking for. Display some confidence and most of all represent your best self. Finally, keep it short. We don’t want 14 pages on what you do, why you love your dog “Clover” and what type of kittens and ice cream you prefer. Tempt us, tease us, give us your best movie trailer, if we want more we’ll message you.
So you find a guy and you want to message him first.
Don’t:
Write a page about yourself.
Tell him why he’s awesome.
Write a two word msg. “Hi” is not an email.
Do:
Write a short blurb on why you messaged him. “Hey you seem kind of cool, you’re into ______, me too, I could totally kick your butt in it.”
Ask him an obscure but playful question “You seem cool, but to make sure…What is your favourite old school video game?”
Be playful, flirty and brief.
Here is an example of my favourite profile that I have come across:
Hi, I like sarcasm. My life is full of mind blowing drama that I am just waiting to unload on someone. I love having loud public arguments, especially when I get to make comparisons to my past failed relationships. Not only that, but! I am incredibly insecure and physically unattractive that I’ll most likely repeatedly ask you if you think I’m fat, only to say “I know you’re lying!” in response to whatever your answer may be, and somehow use it against you when you have a poker night planned with the boys. <-This paragraph clearly shows that she’s fun, she’s not going to be crazy or obsessive, and respects your space i.e. poker night with the boys and that she has enough of a brain to be funny about it.
In the meantime, I can also be serious, and mention things that I personally enjoy. Such as my family and friends, playing guitar, being active (gym, yoga, the outdoors), my job, travelling, and people that chew with their mouths closed. I love having a good laugh on a daily basis, and being surrounded by people that do the same. <- Ok So we know what she likes and what she does for fun and a typical day for her.
I am looking for someone who’s honest, loyal, caring, sincere and trustworthy. Who has morals, values and interests similar to my own and has an excellent character. Someone well educated and is happy and comfortable with themself, capable of making a commitment. Someone that loves their job, realizing the importance of financial stability, but understanding that there is more to life than materialism. Someone, who in the long run, would genuinely have my best interest at heart. Someone who has respect for the environment. A great sense of humour is a must. Someone that takes care of themself and is health conscious and active. Because yes, superficially speaking, looks are important and key to initial attraction, and being fit and healthy can make you attractive inside and out. <- Like a movie trailer she brought us in with the first part now we are getting to the meat of the story, not to heavy but enough that you really know if this is a film worth seeing and if you are the right audience for it.
So basically, if you’re a self-centered, ‘roid pumping, spray-tanned, arrogant, money hungry, insecure-with-a-chip-on-your-shoulder, unemployed angry highschool drop-out, don’t keep me waiting any longer and message me NOW! <- We finish up the same way we started on a fun playful note. Overall the whole profile is short, fun but serious and we know what she’s looking for so we won’t waste her time.
Why Gender Matters
Mar 7th
As you’ve already figured out I put a lot of energy into personal growth and development, reading, seminars, workshops as well as writing and teaching. Every so often I come across a program or book that is mind blowning-ly awesome. This is one of those books.
Regardless of your age, your gender or your views on sex you should read this book. It will help explain why and how you think as well as provide one of the greatest insights into the thoughts and wiring of the opposite sex. The knowledge in this book will help your interaction with the opposite sex as well as the interaction with your own sex.
Synopsis
Are boys and girls really that different? Twenty years ago, doctors and researchers didn’t think so. Back then, most experts believed that differences in how girls and boys behave are mainly due to differences in how they were treated by their parents, teachers, and friends.
It’s hard to cling to that belief today. An avalanche of research over the past twenty years has shown that sex differences are more significant and profound than anybody guessed. Sex differences are real, biologically programmed, and important to how children are raised, disciplined, and educated.
In Why Gender Matters, psychologist and family physician Dr. Leonard Sax leads parents through the mystifying world of gender differences by explaining the biologically different ways in which children think, feel, and act. He addresses a host of issues, including discipline, learning, risk taking, aggression, sex, and drugs, and shows how boys and girls react in predictable ways to different situations.
For example, girls are born with more sensitive hearing than boys, and those differences increase as kids grow up. So when a grown man speaks to a girl in what he thinks is a normal voice, she may hear it as yelling. Conversely, boys who appear to be inattentive in class may just be sitting too far away to hear the teacher—especially if the teacher is female.
Likewise, negative emotions are seated in an ancient structure of the brain called the amygdala. Girls develop an early connection between this area and the cerebral cortex, enabling them to talk about their feelings. In boys these links develop later. So if you ask a troubled adolescent boy to tell you what hisfeelings are, he often literally cannot say.
Dr. Sax offers fresh approaches to disciplining children, as well as gender-specific ways to help girls and boys avoid drugs and early sexual activity. He wants parents to understand and work with hardwired differences in children, but he also encourages them to push beyond gender-based stereotypes.
A leading proponent of single-sex education, Dr. Sax points out specific instances where keeping boys and girls separate in the classroom has yielded striking educational, social, and interpersonal benefits. Despite the view of many educators and experts on child-rearing that sex differences should be ignored or overcome, parents and teachers would do better to recognize, understand, and make use of the biological differences that make a girl a girl, and a boy a boy.
Reviews:
“. . . a lucid guide to male and female brain differences. . .”
The New York Times
“Convincing. . . Psychologist and family physician Leonard Sax, using 20 years of published research, offers a guide to the growing mountain of evidence that girls and boys really are different. . . This extremely readable book also includes shrewd advice on discipline, and on helping youngsters avoid drugs and early sexual activity. Sax’s findings, insights and provocative point-of-view should be of interest and help to many parents.”
-New York Post
Check it out here – Why Gender Matters
Facebook Profile Do’s
Jan 14th
Want to show the fairer sex that you are an awesome guy? Tweak your facebook/myspace display photos to show. Part tow in our display photo series will show you the do’s as opposed to the don’ts
Show yourself doing something different, snowboarding, adventuring, camping, travelling. Women love men who cut a path of their own. Show that you aren’t scared to go out and engage the world.
A photo of you and a few girlfriends works wonders, it says “I’m a cool guy and I have female friends. This is huge social proofing. Demonstrates that you are preselected by other girl, you must be a great guy. DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT post a photo of you and strippers, bikini models, hooters girls. This says the opposite about you.
A photo of you and your mom. Your relationship with your Mom says a lot about how you treat a woman. Girls look for a man that is close with his mom. Make sure you caption the photo “me and mom on her birthday/my birthday/at grad/etc”. You don’t want them thinking you are into older women now do you?
Show that you are good with kids, when looking for a suitable man kids comes in just as important as your mom. It shows you can be a leader, you can raise the next generation. If it’s your kid well, good luck to you, I’m not sure how to proceed. Otherwise if it’s your niece, nephew, friends kid, etc make sure you label it as such, you don’t want the ladies thinking you come with a lot of baggage.
How to get over a break up.
Dec 26th
Some break-ups are not that bad, some are terrible, especially ones that occur because of things out of your control. Emotions run wild, hate, anger, love, loss, loneliness, despair, hope, happiness and often cycle and repeat. There is no definitive way to get over that heartbreak, but these ways can help and will make sure you don’t end up looking like a psycho/jackass/bag of douche.
- Be who you’ve always been. Think about who you are, would your normal self call your ex drunk and crying at 3am asking for them back? most likely not. When these uncharacteristic tendencies creep in, remind yourself who you are and what behaviour is typical of you. Even if you want them back, just continue to be YOU, turning into a whiny crying emotional bitch won’t do anything but reinforce the decision to split. Being composed, confident and strong will further make them question the breakup if that is what you want them to do.
- Take things that remind you of them and place these items in safe place out of sight. You are going to need some time to get over the reminders of your ex. I’m sure they were a part of your life and now they are not, the less you have around to remind you of that part of your life the better. Don’t destroy those things, don’t throw them out, just put them aside until the heart has healed itself.
- Use this as time to start something new. Want to learn to play music? Sign up for lessons. Join a new gym. Be part of a rec sports league. The more you are out of the house and interacting the better. The worst thing you can do is sit home and wallow in your self pity, an added bonus is that you’ll be more likely to meet someone new.
- Cailean once said – “The best way to get over an old love is to get under a new one.” Now I’m not suggesting you go out on a heart breaking marathon or endanger yourself in any physical, mental or sexual way, but some physical contact with someone new can help with the heart break. Make sure you don’t mention anything about your recent ex nor should you lead the other person on. Be congruent with who you are.
- Take them out of your phone, take them off your messenger list, remove them from your sight. You’re going to get weak and call, text, email, msg something you regret, the less they are the the better off you’ll be and the less likely you’ll msg them.
- Don’t play the blame game and don’t let your ego get in the way. You are an awesome person, they are an awesome person it SUCKS for both people that you have to part ways but do so with grace and respect, regardless of the cause of the split. Speaking nothing but good words about them and do nothing but good actions with regards to the situation. Only little kids throw temper tantrums. Be an Adult.
Guest Post – Zan Perrion Ars Amorata – The Source of Attraction and The Paradox of Love
Nov 26th
This Week we are featuring a Guest Post from Hans Comijn.
The Source of Attraction and The Paradox of Love
In my quest for beauty, my desire to celebrate and be immersed in female energy, I often wonder what it is in women that I love so much. I travel a lot with Zan, and when asked “What is it you miss the most during your travels?” the answer for me goes along the lines of “a place of rest… with a woman who comforts and nurtures me”. As Zan puts it, “My head on a woman’s breast, with her caressing my hair and telling me everything will be all right…” And I wonder… could it be that this image describes the essence of a woman – she nurturing me, the traveller, taking care of me, providing a place where I can lay my head to rest… is that the core of female energy?
I also wonder if my traveling is the essence of male energy.
The Number 1 Rule for Your Next Date
Nov 18th
Have a little more fun on that date...
Dinner. Meet for drinks. Grab a coffee. Catch a movie.
I’ve done these, and whatever combination they come in but never with a whole lot of luck. Then I started doing these:
Picnic at a supermarket. Hiking around railroad tracks. Grabbing a ride on a ferry. Or a dusk-time walk through a graveyard… and have had some incredible results.
Top 10 Ways To Get That One Special Girl:
Nov 5th
One- itis – (from urban dictionary) The dreaded “One-Itis,” otherwise known as the ailment of liking that “One Special Girl” and wanting her more than any other woman on earth. A want so intense, that it’s actually painful.
This happens to the best of us. We meet a girl, we become friends and we fall in love with them. The girl, unbenounst to you, sees you as a friend and just a friend, but you want more. Here is where disaster strikes, you decide to do something romantic, something you’ve seen in a movie, you show up at her door, floors and love ready to be professed You cook them a magical dinner and light candles. Awkwardness strikes and you ruin your friendship and you still have that love for your “one special girl” and you are left out in the cold.
Back in my undergrad I met my “one special girl”, I worked my way into the friend zone and then one night showed up at her door in a suit with a rose and declared my love for her. She shot me down and I put my tail between my legs and went home sad, like the chump that I was.
Fast forward a few years and we are living together and madly in love. Here are the top ten things that help me land the girl of my dreams.
Relationship Questions and Answers – Cailean’s Pov
Apr 11th
Q & A about T & A
You may have heard your whole life that there is no such thing as a dumb question. Well, those people lied. I had a huge number of dumb questions appearing daily in my email inbox at Cailean@idatemodels.com. I don’t wish to bore myself or my readers with your stupidity. I will, however, take this opportunity to address two of the more interesting email questions I have received over the past couple of weeks. Please keep in mind that I am a single woman approaching the holiday season, therefore, my social calendar is filling up quickly. I don’t have the time to address every email but I will do my very best to reply to comments left below!
That being said…
“I Think I Made Her Wet the Bed…” — G-Spots, Dirty Talk and Other Things You Should Know About
Mar 17th
Okay, so now that you’ve lost your virginity you’re a transformed man. Overnight you have become a sexual dynamo with the ability to make women orgasm just by whispering in their ears.
Hmm… Good fantasy, but not quite.
“But wait!” you say. “My girl says I’m good in bed! She likes when I do the spelling out the alphabet thing with my tongue…” If this is the extent of your sexual prowess, we’re here to help you.
If you want to be a good guitar player, you pick up a guitar, take lessons, follow along in a book and practice what you’ve learned. Why is it that people don’t do the same for sex? (aside from the fact that there aren’t “lessons” offered legally in most areas…) Being good at sex is a skill, a valuable one at that. But people rarely treat it like that. Wouldn’t you like to be a better lover?
Time to study up.
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