Most guys I know feel that they don’t need help with their game (they do, we all do), whether their game is used for meeting dozens of beautiful models or just talking to that one special girl we all could use a little help. On the other side of the coin women have a deeper understanding that they could use a little help landing Mr. Right, nearly once a week a female friend comes forward and asks me for some help. Here is IDM’s definitive guide to meeting and landing Mr. Right this summer.

Traditionally, meeting Mr. Right is more of a passive activity, this guide will focus on being actively passive. More or less, making sure you are putting the best ingredients together for him to approach.

Looks – Physical attraction is important, millions of years of evolution ensured that we are looking for a healthy mate that will produce viable offspring, even though we aren’t battling sabre toothed tigers those evolutionary bi-products are still there.  You should look good when you leave the house, teeth should be clean and white, hair should be clean looking, clothing should be well fitting and feminine. Final message: You don’t want to leave the house looking like Sue Sylvester.

Health – More and more health is becoming important, start going to the gym, quit smoking and cut the sugar out of your diet. We don’t all want to date Marissa Miller, but we do want someone that cares about their health, you can be curvy, skinny or a big beautiful woman, but you should still be healthy. Final message: We don’t want you getting winded walking from the car nor do we want you blowing away on a windy day, we are looking for a life partner after all.

Confidence – I hear “I’m just an average girl” more than I can count. No one wants to date an average girl, no one wants to be average, just because you aren’t a Victoria Secret model that has a Nobel prize and Olympic medal doesn’t mean you are average. What average says to me? is you are willing to settle, you are bored with your life, tell me you are passionate, tell me you aren’t average, maybe you love Star Trek and love playing indoor soccer, that makes you unique. Instead of telling me you are just like everyone else (then why wouldn’t I want to date everyone else?) tell me why you aren’t like everyone else. Final Message – We want someone who is confident, motivated and happy.

Location – Not just for real estate. If you find Nerds sexy, chances are you aren’t going to meet them at some trashy downtown bar. If you want to meet a Doctor stop hanging out at Law School. What I’m getting at that you need to figure out what you are looking for in a man and then put yourself into the circle. Join a summer sports league, join a wine tasting group, join a guild of elves, really, it doesn’t matter what, but that you are actually taking a step forward to meeting the right person. Too many girls go to work, come home, go out with friends and that’s it, those are not ideal situations to meet Mr. Right.  Final Message – You meet a guy that appreciates art at a gallery, not at a night club.

Stay tuned for part 2.

IDM’s guide to writing a girl’s dating profile:

Listen up girls, we’ve spent the last few months looking at dating profiles, getting messages from girls on ours and evaluating what’s out there. Your goal with your dating profile is to ultimately meet someone and have some form of relationship with them. Here is our official guide to get the most and the best possible responses.

Photos matter – Whether your photos are public or not you should have 3 photos – one head shot, one full body shot, and one photo of you doing something that you love to do. Guys are visual when we look for a car we want to see the car before we buy it, knowing the specs alone won’t get us excited. We don’t want to be surprised that you are 100lbs when we were expecting a full figured goddess and vice a versa. If your photos are not public, when you message a guy, attach the photos, he’s not going to reply to a faceless creature, we want to know what you look like. If we aren’t attracted to you then you are wasting both your time and ours. Don’t post photos of your kids, your dog, your cat or your fish, it’s ok to have any of those but let’s ease us into that.

Most of the profiles have the same style “about me”. Have a look through at some other girls profiles then write yours make sure you are different, make sure you use punctuation, proper spelling and avoid slang. Don’t be afraid to be playful or to state what you are looking for and what you are not looking for. Display some confidence and most of all represent your best self. Finally, keep it short. We don’t want 14 pages on what you do, why you love your dog “Clover” and what type of kittens and ice cream you prefer. Tempt us, tease us, give us your best movie trailer, if we want more we’ll message you.

So you find a guy and you want to message him first.

Don’t:

Write a page about yourself.
Tell him why he’s awesome.
Write a two word msg. “Hi” is not an email.

Do:

Write a short blurb on why you messaged him. “Hey you seem kind of cool, you’re into ______, me too, I could totally kick your butt in it.”
Ask him an obscure but playful question “You seem cool, but to make sure…What is your favourite old school video game?”
Be playful, flirty and brief.

Here is an example of my favourite profile that I have come across:

Hi, I like sarcasm. My life is full of mind blowing drama that I am just waiting to unload on someone. I love having loud public arguments, especially when I get to make comparisons to my past failed relationships. Not only that, but! I am incredibly insecure and physically unattractive that I’ll most likely repeatedly ask you if you think I’m fat, only to say “I know you’re lying!” in response to whatever your answer may be, and somehow use it against you when you have a poker night planned with the boys. <-This paragraph clearly shows that she’s fun, she’s not going to be crazy or obsessive, and respects your space i.e. poker night with the boys and that she has enough of a brain to be funny about it.

In the meantime, I can also be serious, and mention things that I personally enjoy. Such as my family and friends, playing guitar, being active (gym, yoga, the outdoors), my job, travelling, and people that chew with their mouths closed. I love having a good laugh on a daily basis, and being surrounded by people that do the same. <- Ok So we know what she likes and what she does for fun and a typical day for her.

I am looking for someone who’s honest, loyal, caring, sincere and trustworthy. Who has morals, values and interests similar to my own and has an excellent character. Someone well educated and is happy and comfortable with themself, capable of making a commitment. Someone that loves their job, realizing the importance of financial stability, but understanding that there is more to life than materialism. Someone, who in the long run, would genuinely have my best interest at heart. Someone who has respect for the environment. A great sense of humour is a must. Someone that takes care of themself and is health conscious and active. Because yes, superficially speaking, looks are important and key to initial attraction, and being fit and healthy can make you attractive inside and out. <- Like a movie trailer she brought us in with the first part now we are getting to the meat of the story, not to heavy but enough that you really know if this is a film worth seeing and if you are the right audience for it.

So basically, if you’re a self-centered, ‘roid pumping, spray-tanned, arrogant, money hungry, insecure-with-a-chip-on-your-shoulder, unemployed angry highschool drop-out, don’t keep me waiting any longer and message me NOW! <- We finish up the same way we started on a fun playful note. Overall the whole profile is short, fun but serious and we know what she’s looking for so we won’t waste her time.

As you’ve already figured out I put a lot of energy into personal growth and development, reading, seminars, workshops as well as writing and teaching. Every so often I come across a program or book that is mind blowning-ly  awesome. This is one of those books.

Why Gender Matters

Regardless of your age, your gender or your views on sex you should read this book. It will help explain why and how you think as well as provide one of the greatest insights into the thoughts and wiring of the opposite sex. The knowledge in this book will help your interaction with the opposite sex as well as the interaction with your own sex.

Synopsis

Are boys and girls really that different? Twenty years ago, doctors and researchers didn’t think so. Back then, most experts believed that differences in how girls and boys behave are mainly due to differences in how they were treated by their parents, teachers, and friends.

It’s hard to cling to that belief today. An avalanche of research over the past twenty years has shown that sex differences are more significant and profound than anybody guessed. Sex differences are real, biologically programmed, and important to how children are raised, disciplined, and educated.

In Why Gender Matters, psychologist and family physician Dr. Leonard Sax leads parents through the mystifying world of gender differences by explaining the biologically different ways in which children think, feel, and act. He addresses a host of issues, including discipline, learning, risk taking, aggression, sex, and drugs, and shows how boys and girls react in predictable ways to different situations.

For example, girls are born with more sensitive hearing than boys, and those differences increase as kids grow up. So when a grown man speaks to a girl in what he thinks is a normal voice, she may hear it as yelling. Conversely, boys who appear to be inattentive in class may just be sitting too far away to hear the teacher—especially if the teacher is female.

Likewise, negative emotions are seated in an ancient structure of the brain called the amygdala. Girls develop an early connection between this area and the cerebral cortex, enabling them to talk about their feelings. In boys these links develop later. So if you ask a troubled adolescent boy to tell you what hisfeelings are, he often literally cannot say.

Dr. Sax offers fresh approaches to disciplining children, as well as gender-specific ways to help girls and boys avoid drugs and early sexual activity. He wants parents to understand and work with hardwired differences in children, but he also encourages them to push beyond gender-based stereotypes.

A leading proponent of single-sex education, Dr. Sax points out specific instances where keeping boys and girls separate in the classroom has yielded striking educational, social, and interpersonal benefits. Despite the view of many educators and experts on child-rearing that sex differences should be ignored or overcome, parents and teachers would do better to recognize, understand, and make use of the biological differences that make a girl a girl, and a boy a boy.

Reviews:

“. . . a lucid guide to male and female brain differences. . .”
The New York Times
“Convincing. . . Psychologist and family physician Leonard Sax, using 20 years of published research, offers a guide to the growing mountain of evidence that girls and boys really are different. . . This extremely readable book also includes shrewd advice on discipline, and on helping youngsters avoid drugs and early sexual activity. Sax’s findings, insights and provocative point-of-view should be of interest and help to many parents.”
-New York Post

Check it out here – Why Gender Matters

Show yourself doing something different, snowboarding, adventuring, camping, travelling. Women love men who cut a path of their own. Show that you aren’t scared to go out and engage the world.

A photo of you and a few girlfriends works wonders, it says “I’m a cool guy and I have female friends. This is huge social proofing. Demonstrates that you are preselected by other girl, you must be a great guy. DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT post a photo of you and strippers, bikini models, hooters girls. This says the opposite about you.

A photo of you and your mom. Your relationship with your Mom says a lot about how you treat a woman. Girls look for a man that is close with his mom. Make sure you caption the photo “me and mom on her birthday/my birthday/at grad/etc”. You don’t want them thinking you are into older women now do you?

Show that you are good with kids, when looking for a suitable man kids comes in just as important as your mom. It shows you can be a leader, you can raise the next generation.  If it’s your kid well, good luck to you, I’m not sure how to proceed. Otherwise if it’s your niece, nephew, friends kid, etc make sure you label it as such, you don’t want the ladies thinking you come with a lot of baggage.

Some break-ups are not that bad, some are terrible, especially ones that occur because of things out of your control.  Emotions run wild, hate, anger, love, loss, loneliness, despair, hope, happiness and often cycle and repeat.  There is no definitive way to get over that heartbreak, but these ways can help and will make sure you don’t end up looking like a psycho/jackass/bag of douche.

• Be who you’ve always been. Think about who you are, would your normal self call your ex drunk and crying at 3am asking for them back? most likely not. When these uncharacteristic tendencies creep in, remind yourself who you are and what behaviour is typical of you. Even if you want them back, just continue to be YOU, turning into a whiny crying emotional bitch won’t do anything but reinforce the decision to split. Being composed, confident and strong will further make them question the breakup if that is what you want them to do.
• Take things that remind you of them and place these items in safe place out of sight. You are going to need some time to get over the reminders of  your ex. I’m sure they were a part of your life and now they are not, the less you have around to remind you of that part of your life the better. Don’t destroy those things, don’t throw them out, just put them aside until the heart has healed itself.
• Use this as time to start something new. Want to learn to play music? Sign up for lessons. Join a new gym. Be part of a rec sports league. The more you are out of the house and interacting the better. The worst thing you can do is sit home and wallow in your self pity, an added bonus is that you’ll be more likely to meet someone new.
• Cailean once said – “The best way to get over an old love is to get under a new one.” Now I’m not suggesting you go out on a heart breaking marathon or endanger yourself in any physical, mental or sexual way, but some physical contact with someone new can help with the heart break. Make sure you don’t mention anything about your recent ex nor should you lead the other person on. Be congruent with who you are.
• Take them out of your phone, take them off your messenger list, remove them from your sight. You’re going to get weak and call, text, email, msg something you regret, the less they are the the better off you’ll be and the less likely you’ll msg them.
• Don’t play the blame game and don’t let your ego get in the way. You are an awesome person, they are an awesome person it SUCKS for both people that you have to part ways but do so with grace and respect, regardless of the cause of the split. Speaking nothing but good words about them and do nothing but good actions with regards to the situation. Only little kids throw temper tantrums. Be an Adult.

No related posts.

This Week we are featuring a Guest Post from Hans Comijn.

The Source of Attraction and The Paradox of Love

In my quest for beauty, my desire to celebrate and be immersed in female energy, I often wonder what it is in women that I love so much. I travel a lot with Zan, and when asked “What is it you miss the most during your travels?” the answer for me goes along the lines of “a place of rest… with a woman who comforts and nurtures me”. As Zan puts it, “My head on a woman’s breast, with her caressing my hair and telling me everything will be all right…” And I wonder… could it be that this image describes the essence of a woman – she nurturing me, the traveller, taking care of me, providing a place where I can lay my head to rest… is that the core of female energy?
I also wonder if my traveling is the essence of male energy.

The adventurer, out there in the wilderness, the warrior on a mission, caught up in something bigger, the man with a purpose. And if these images are meaningful articulations of male and female energy, then those differences in energy seem like a very viable source for the attraction between men and women, do they not? Going vs nurturing. She is attracted to, and enamored by, purposeful men, men who go. She wants to nurture the warrior.
Everywhere we go, women ask us how they can “land that guy”. She wants to bring home the adventurer, domesticate the one that seems ‘undomesticable’. And he, the traveller, the adventurer, misses and is attracted to the nurturing qualities of women. He loves to be taken care of. He loves to come ‘home’ after he was out there in the wilderness, following his purpose. If this makes any kind of sense, could it also be then that those differences in energy not only provide a viable source for the attraction between men and women, but that they also lie at the core of the paradox of love and many of the concerns and issues we have in terms of approaching, dating and relationships between men and women?

Is it not true that as soon as she ‘lands that guy’, as soon as she has brought home the adventurer she longed for, she starts losing her attraction for him?

Is it not true that as soon as he settles and stops going, as soon as he gives up his purpose and she becomes the adventure, he kills the man in him and the possibility to make her feel like a woman?

Why do we settle? Why do we almost invariably choose to instantly get rid of the pang of missing someone by choosing ‘forever’? Is what we think we want ignoring our very male and female core?

Could it be that what we think we want will not make us happy in the long run?

She thinks that what she really wants is to land that guy. She is convinced that bringing home the adventurer forever will make her happy. And he misses the place to rest she provides so much that he thinks he should settle. So he does, and they settle for each other. But maybe, in the process of settling, they overlook that the apparent paradox of love is also the very source of their attraction. Maybe she needs to claim, maybe she needs to try to bring him home, and maybe he needs to go anyway… in the name of attraction, in the name of all women and men.

Maybe you need to give her gift of missing you. Maybe you need to disappear, reappear and celebrate her… each time with newness and excitement, fully recharged with male energy. Like it is new all over again.
Maybe she deserves that…

~ Hans Comijn
Way of Attraction

Hans works and travels with Zan Perrion on his “Ars Amorata: a 90 Day Transformation” program:
- The revampled Ars Amorata program will be launched in January and you will be able to be a part of it from any city in the world!  Updates here: www.zanperrion.com/arsamorata.php or send us an email expressing your interest.
-You can become a friend of the “Ars Amorata” page on Facebook, where you can follow the Gypsy Caravan – www.facebook.com/arsamorata
and find out more about our Amorati network: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=140358111691&id=105365474264&ref=mf
- After 3 years we will hold another Weekend Intensive, Las Vegas, Jan 29 – Jan 31 2010
An announcement will be made soon on facebook, on www.zanperrion.com and on our forum www.naturalgame.com.

Have a little more fun on that date...

Dinner. Meet for drinks. Grab a coffee. Catch a movie.
I’ve done these, and whatever combination they come in but never with a whole lot of luck. Then I started doing these:
Picnic at a supermarket. Hiking around railroad tracks. Grabbing a ride on a ferry. Or a dusk-time walk through a graveyard… and have had some incredible results.

Adventure Dating – Your Dinner and a Movie Reinvented

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not lauding a date in graveyard over the standard meeting for drinks or catching a movie (okay, maybe I’m lauding it over the movie a bit), what I’m trying to get at is this: Dating is about meeting someone new, being entertained by and entertaining that person and sharing new experiences – it’s about being social and physically interacting with someone.

I’m not a fan of the droning (and frankly twisted) twenty-questions compatibility interview that we’ve come to accept as a “norm” for dating formats. My very first, official “date” I ever went on was effectively this interview format over coffee after which I immediately vowed “never again!” It didn’t seem natural, it wasn’t nearly as fascinating as it could have been and quite frankly it was boring – I had short-changed what could have been a really unique, sincere and “nothing to lose” experience and placed us both in a stifling environment that gave way only to status quo.

Since then I’ve focused on the date being an experience for both. To do that I summon my inner child, asking “What will I find fun?“, and let the ideas come rolling. It’s only a date after all, you really have nothing to lose, so have fun with it (in respectable moderation of course)!

The number one rule is this: Don’t be attached to the outcome.

Focus on what’s happening “in the now” and I guarantee your dating experiences will improve (this can be true for both sexes).

But Xander, I’m not a ‘creative’ person – I run blank when I try to come up with dates

Non-sense… Relax and do what you like to do! A little creative spin on, say, going to a movie and viola… adventure! Here are some examples of how to make the traditional date an adventure date…

Dinner and a Movie
The Adventure Dating answer to Dinner and a Movie would be: Take it inside. Invite the person over, cook dinner together (or maybe make a desert, or a finger food pot-luck) and watch an old movie the both of you may have seen before. You can revel in your favourite parts, discuss particular scenes, tear the movie apart (making fun of Twilight anyone?). Neither of you cook? Well, it’ll probably be a rather hilarious adventure (seriously, learn how to cook… something)! My suggestion in that case would be making cookies (think that scene from Ghost but with delicious cookie batter).

Meeting for Drinks
The Adventure Dating solution? Take it on the road. Yes, in some countries/states/provinces/territories there are some minor legalities involved, plan accordingly. Pack a bag with opaque mugs, a favourite red/white wine (wine is easiest in this situation, but you could bring whatever) and head to a walkable area of your city or town for some discrete fun. Yes, sitting down for drinks can be great depending on the venue. But this way just has a certain mischievousness to it. Try setting it up like so:

You: “Lets meet for drinks”
Your Date: “Sure, when were you thinking”
You: “Thursday evening, meet me at the park gates on main street, and dress warm”

So, now that I’ve got your brain flowing, start having fun. I’ve shared a few of mine (and would gladly share some more), if you’ve got some adventure date ideas of your own leave them in the comments below or post your results. Remember, don’t be attached to the outcome, just have fun with this brand new individual you’re hanging out with.

X.

One- itis – (from urban dictionary) The dreaded “One-Itis,” otherwise known as the ailment of liking that “One Special Girl” and wanting her more than any other woman on earth. A want so intense, that it’s actually painful.

This happens to the best of us. We meet a girl, we become friends and we fall in love with them. The girl, unbenounst to you, sees you as a friend and just a friend, but you want more. Here is where disaster strikes, you decide to do something romantic, something you’ve seen in a movie, you show up at her door, floors and love ready to be professed You cook them a magical dinner and light candles. Awkwardness strikes and you ruin your friendship and you still have that love for your “one special girl” and you are left out in the cold.

Back in my undergrad I met my “one special girl”, I worked my way into the friend zone and then one night showed up at her door in a suit with a rose and declared my love for her. She shot me down and I put my tail between my legs and went home sad, like the chump that I was.

Fast forward a few years and we are living together and madly in love. Here are the top ten things that help me land the girl of my dreams.

1. No girl sits on a throne. None, ever. The minute you put a girl above you and start treating her like she’s a better than you is the minute you are communicating to her that she’s better than you. The bathroom stinks when she’s done doing her business and she looks like ass when she’s hungover. You have to treat her like your equal.
2. Date other girls. This might not seem like it makes sense but when you are dating lots of women it makes you more desirable. I had my “one” with me when we picked up a girl I was going on a date with. Later during our relationship she told me that was one of the key turning points for her attraction to me.
3. Tease her. It builds up sexual tension. This is a good thing. Make fun of her, treat her like a bratty little girl.
4. Take her on adventures with you. Tell her you need a new shirt for a hot date you are going on and take her with you. Take her to the grocery store to get ingredients for a meal you are cooking a date.  This will get her thinking about you in the context of someone who dates as well as help build comfort between the two of you.
5. Do not profess your love. Ever. This will kill it. What you can do is say things like “If we weren’t such good friends I’d totally love you, too bad I know you’re such a dork.” Once again this puts her mind in the relationship mode and pushes her buttons. Tease her with this idea of you’d be with her but you won’t. People always want what they can’t have right?
6. Get physical. If you want to bridge the gap to the first kiss you are going to have to have some physical contact. When appropriate I would push her in a playful way, I would sit close to her on the couch. Be warned if there are 5 empty seats and you sit next to her, this will come across as weird, so observe social norms.
7. Take some kind of class with Her. My one-itis and I took an evening dance class. This continued to bring us closer together and put us into couple mode. Plus I learned to dance which is a life long skill. Win win.
8. Talk about girls and talk about sex. Ask her woman’s opinions about dating, relationships and sex. This gets her mind turning as well shows you are a sexual creature.
9. No gifts, no lavish dates, no professions of love. Refuse to do it.
10. The Kiss, this is where it counts, the make it or break it. For me I was teasing her all day long, I left her place and I left something there, she came running after me. I grabbed her and kissed her. Success. I suggest you build up the tension as best you can. Don’t rush it, you’ll know when the time is right. Go in for it. If it fails then you have some room to save yourself. “Jesus, I don’t know what came over me, for I second I forgot we are such good friends.”

Q: I am very pretty, smart and independent. I normally don’t have a problem meeting men, but all they seem to want is a physical relationship. What am I doing wrong?

A: This is a bit of a tricky question. There are many reasons why a man would only want a physical relationship with you… Do you sleep with him on the first or second date? Do you pursue him? Do you dress slutty and then wonder why men don’t take you seriously? Did you answer by nodding ‘yes’, ‘yes’ and ‘yes’?
Well, I don’t want to get a bunch of hate mail after this, believe me, I have had my fair share of nights dressing slutty during a night out at the clubs. (My girlfriends and I blame it on ovulation). Sad to say though, a lot of men still believe in the old double standard. They are encouraged to screw around and are often patted on the back for sleeping with a variety of people but they definitely don’t want a girlfriend who does. And if he meets a beautiful woman who is hard to get, he’ll pursue her like VIP tickets to the Stanley Cup playoffs.
Here’s my advice, take it or leave it: Save the make-out session for the 3^rd or 4^th date. I know it’s hard but try your best. Build a friendship with him. Cut it off after 2^nd base and wait to see if he asks you out again. If he calls for another date, you’ll know he’s really into you. If you never hear from him again, cut your losses and remember it’s not your fault, but you might want to reconsider the guys you are choosing to go out with. There will always be guys who only want to sleep with you. You are fabulous, why wouldn’t they?! Just remember that if he really wants YOU and not just your hot bod, he won’t mind waiting. And if he’s really boyfriend material, he’ll respect your mind AND your body.

Q: My girlfriend never wants to sleep over at my apartment. She sometimes comes over late, has sex with me and then makes an excuse to leave in the middle of the night. What do you think is going on?

A: How do I put this delicately…? She is not your girlfriend. You are her bootie call! Have you talked about your relationship? Are you even sure you have one? Does she consider you her boyfriend? Has the word “boyfriend” and your name ever appeared in the same sentence? Sorry if this sounds cruel but I really like this girl! It’s not very often I get mail from MEN wondering why a girl won’t spend the night with him.
Do you enjoy the sex? If so, here’s my advice, take it or leave it: consider yourself lucky. You are the object of a woman’s sexual affection. This doesn’t happen very often. You must be very sexy. And if you are enjoying the sex but want a little more of an emotional connection, explain it to her. Tell her how you feel. If she is still only into it for the nookie, tell her you need more and go find a girl who likes to sleep in… with you!

Come see me again next Tuesday! I have a secret to share…

G-Spot Orgasms

“Why would I want to soak my sheets?” you might ask. What is the value of giving your woman a squirting (G-Spot) orgasm? The simple answer is that this is usually the most powerful type of orgasm a woman can have (the other contender being the anal orgasm in most women). We can also assume that most women have not had a squirting orgasm before, and that if you (her already awesome boyfriend/date) can do this for her, than she will be more than appreciative (plus, unlike a clitoral orgasm, this is not likely something a woman can give herself — she needs you).

You can be the great lover she talks about the rest of her life.

I personally recommend a product that Steve DeAmore put out a few years ago, called White Tiger Tantra, which teaches a G-Spot orgasms using massage therapy techniques (see sensual awakening link below).

Links:
http://www.sensualawakening.com/
http://www.nerve.com/regulars/ididitforscience/femaleejaculation/index.asp?page=1

Dirty Talk? Really?

Women are different from men (I know: you’re shocked). They need to be emotionally and psychologically stimulated before they can really become physically turned on. This is why women have fantasies; why romance novels account for millions of dollars in annual sales; and why women generally don’t watch as much mainstream pornography as men do.
If you came to me a few years ago and said that talking dirty to a woman in bed would turn her on, I would have said you had been watching too much porn. But since I’ve started introducing dirty talk with partners, I’ve been amazed at the positive reactions. It’s a super effective way to create an exciting, charged sexual atmosphere.
Links:
http://www.masterful-lover.com/dirtytalk.html
A Women’s POV: http://www.tinynibbles.com/dirtytalk.html
http://essentialdatingtips.blogspot.com/2007/12/how-to-introduce-it-after-years-of.html

Don’t Be a Minute Man…
Tips on how to train your PC muscles and last all night (from someone else… Why should I write something that’s already been written quite well? Plus he links to some great stuff on topic) http://happybrainstorm.com/controlling-ejaculation-the-right-way/