I Date Models
Do you?
Do you?
Mar 30th
Last July, Myself, Xander and a few other friends descended upon the San Francisco Bay Area for a week of fun, excitement and “Woo”.
Xander was charged with being the best man, planning, arranging and putting everything together. He had a lot on his plate so I offered up my ideas and my labour to help him get everything he needed done. On the flight in we started trying to conceptualize the bachelor party. Sure, you can take a guy out to a trashy strip club, you can take him paint balling, golfing or to a shooting range.
What we wanted to do was show him a no rule, no limit night of fun. Think louder than 11.
Here’s how we did it…
2 weeks prior to the wedding we decided that t shirts would be needed, a form of peacocking for the night, a way to bring the team feeling together on our night out, and finally a way for us to help find each other in a crowded club. Our shirts were safety green and hot pink, it was impossible to not spot any of us from 1000 yards. Luckily we did not have to try to hide from the police.
2 days prior to the wedding was the day set for the bachelor party. Why? it’s enough time to ensure that all parties involved can be bailed out of jail, found on the roof of a casino, replaced, etc. Further more it allows all hangovers to be recovered from. We also used hotwire.com to find a cheap hotel room, we managed to get a $500 a night room in a downtown hotel for less than $100. This provided a base of operation as well helped set the tone for the night, imagine your friends taking you into a 5 diamond hotel (not star, diamond…) to start your night, remember, it’s always about context.
Once in the hotel we had a few shots, got ready, surprised the groom once again with the t-shirts and some good scotch to drink. He was already buzzing from excitement. This night was destined for greatness.
We had previously found out where his favourite pub was and started there for food and drinks. Xander called in advance to book a large table and get friendly with the manager. During this phone call he set it up that this place was the Groom’s favourite place and that we would be celebrating his coming nuptials. This takes a page from “the bouncer is your friend”. On arrival the entire staff was aware why we were they and made us right at home, providing excellent service, free drinks.
Stay tuned for part two and the secret of the checklist…
Mar 14th
So you want to learn to be a great pickup artist? decent at chess? to juggle? What happens when most people try to learn something new is that as time progresses it gets difficult and they don’t see the results they had built up in their head. Humbled that their dreams of being a Cirque de Soleil performer after 2 days of juggle have been crushed they quit dismissing it as too hard, impossible or not worth the effort.
Let me lay this out there first:
Things worth doing are hard, they are going to require effort and you are going to most likely have your ass handed to you numerous times until you start to succeed. Talk to anyone that is exceptional successful in their field and they will collaborate this theory.
Have a look at this graph (yeah, I know, it’s made in mspaint, but it’s here to get a point across, not to look pretty)
At the very start the difficulty of the skill shoots way up in difficulty, it will plateau and then as you become practised it will slowly decline until the difficulty is low. The red zone is the critical zone, this is where most people quit.
It’s too hard
I’m not seeing any improvements
It’s not worth my time
I don’t like it as much as I thought I would
etc.
In reality they haven’t given it enough focus, dedication and do not have enough drive. If you want to get good at something, continue, work hard (and smart) until it becomes easy.
Any stories of something you found difficult and have managed to become good or even great at? share them in the comment box below.
Mar 7th
Whew, I almost ran out of content ideas, it can be a challenge sometimes to find a good topic to write about, especially since I’ve been super busy travelling the world. In the last 2 months I have been all over South East Asia doing somethings I have always wanted to do. Actually I have wanted to do these things since last Spring. Once they came to mind, I put together a plan, figured out the costs and then did everything I had to do to make sure they happen, now they are happening.
Stop number 3 has me at a Muay Thai training camp in Thailand, there are pro UFC fighters, World Champion Kickboxers and the like. On the other side of the coin there are are firemen, engineers, students, teachers, and store clerks. They realized that training Muay Thai was something they wanted to do and they are doing it, not to be the next UFC champion, but simply because they wanted the experience and the excitement that travel and learning can bring. These people have boyfriends, girlfriends, wives, husbands, jobs, children, loan payments, cars, homes and family back home. They come from places like Siberia, Germany, England, Brazil, Usa and beyond, some are wealthy some are poor, regardless they are here, getting the most out of the time they have. They stopped looking for the “no” (I can’t because of __________) and found the yes.
Meanwhile there are people sitting at home, constrained by their ideas, limitations of their minds they’ll come across someone that has travelled the South China, that has climbed the highest mountain in Europe, took salsa dancing in Rio or learned Russian in Moscow. They’ll say how much they have always wanted to do something like that but couldn’t because their favourite colour is orange or they like gold fish or some other reason that doesn’t really matter.
Mar 7th
As you’ve already figured out I put a lot of energy into personal growth and development, reading, seminars, workshops as well as writing and teaching. Every so often I come across a program or book that is mind blowning-ly awesome. This is one of those books.
Regardless of your age, your gender or your views on sex you should read this book. It will help explain why and how you think as well as provide one of the greatest insights into the thoughts and wiring of the opposite sex. The knowledge in this book will help your interaction with the opposite sex as well as the interaction with your own sex.
Synopsis
Are boys and girls really that different? Twenty years ago, doctors and researchers didn’t think so. Back then, most experts believed that differences in how girls and boys behave are mainly due to differences in how they were treated by their parents, teachers, and friends.
It’s hard to cling to that belief today. An avalanche of research over the past twenty years has shown that sex differences are more significant and profound than anybody guessed. Sex differences are real, biologically programmed, and important to how children are raised, disciplined, and educated.
In Why Gender Matters, psychologist and family physician Dr. Leonard Sax leads parents through the mystifying world of gender differences by explaining the biologically different ways in which children think, feel, and act. He addresses a host of issues, including discipline, learning, risk taking, aggression, sex, and drugs, and shows how boys and girls react in predictable ways to different situations.
For example, girls are born with more sensitive hearing than boys, and those differences increase as kids grow up. So when a grown man speaks to a girl in what he thinks is a normal voice, she may hear it as yelling. Conversely, boys who appear to be inattentive in class may just be sitting too far away to hear the teacher—especially if the teacher is female.
Likewise, negative emotions are seated in an ancient structure of the brain called the amygdala. Girls develop an early connection between this area and the cerebral cortex, enabling them to talk about their feelings. In boys these links develop later. So if you ask a troubled adolescent boy to tell you what hisfeelings are, he often literally cannot say.
Dr. Sax offers fresh approaches to disciplining children, as well as gender-specific ways to help girls and boys avoid drugs and early sexual activity. He wants parents to understand and work with hardwired differences in children, but he also encourages them to push beyond gender-based stereotypes.
A leading proponent of single-sex education, Dr. Sax points out specific instances where keeping boys and girls separate in the classroom has yielded striking educational, social, and interpersonal benefits. Despite the view of many educators and experts on child-rearing that sex differences should be ignored or overcome, parents and teachers would do better to recognize, understand, and make use of the biological differences that make a girl a girl, and a boy a boy.
Reviews:
“. . . a lucid guide to male and female brain differences. . .”
The New York Times
“Convincing. . . Psychologist and family physician Leonard Sax, using 20 years of published research, offers a guide to the growing mountain of evidence that girls and boys really are different. . . This extremely readable book also includes shrewd advice on discipline, and on helping youngsters avoid drugs and early sexual activity. Sax’s findings, insights and provocative point-of-view should be of interest and help to many parents.”
-New York Post
Check it out here – Why Gender Matters
Jan 14th
Want to show the fairer sex that you are an awesome guy? Tweak your facebook/myspace display photos to show. Part tow in our display photo series will show you the do’s as opposed to the don’ts

Show yourself doing something different, snowboarding, adventuring, camping, travelling. Women love men who cut a path of their own. Show that you aren’t scared to go out and engage the world.

A photo of you and a few girlfriends works wonders, it says “I’m a cool guy and I have female friends. This is huge social proofing. Demonstrates that you are preselected by other girl, you must be a great guy. DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT post a photo of you and strippers, bikini models, hooters girls. This says the opposite about you.

A photo of you and your mom. Your relationship with your Mom says a lot about how you treat a woman. Girls look for a man that is close with his mom. Make sure you caption the photo “me and mom on her birthday/my birthday/at grad/etc”. You don’t want them thinking you are into older women now do you?

Show that you are good with kids, when looking for a suitable man kids comes in just as important as your mom. It shows you can be a leader, you can raise the next generation. If it’s your kid well, good luck to you, I’m not sure how to proceed. Otherwise if it’s your niece, nephew, friends kid, etc make sure you label it as such, you don’t want the ladies thinking you come with a lot of baggage.
Oct 18th

After watching that last video I got to thinking about something Tyler mentioned in “The Blue Print” regarding Ego Vs. Self Esteem. Here’s what he said:
Sep 13th
We sit in a bar completely engrossed in our conversation while everyone else is left to listen. We always seem to have competing stories when we get on “adventurous” topics and I’ll admit the score to date is still in her favour. The remainder of our friends often sit and drink in the ridiculous topic matter, or at least politely wait it out. Stephanie is an adventurous blond, a leader full of goals and ideals and yet is always open to having those challenged through intelligent banter. By all accounts she’s a catch: She knows how to flirt, she’s rarely reserved about any topics and she’ll put you in your place if she feels you’re out of line. Sometimes I wonder how it is that her and I met through this current network of friends – a politically charged group of young professionals who, though awesome in their own right, are far conservative on the social front than Steph and I. Steph is now off the market. In fact in three weeks I’m to play the music for her wedding service at a valley resort somewhere west of Halifax, Nova Scotia – and I couldn’t be happier for her.
“Oh, that’s called ‘Highway Flirting’”
Oh, it already has a title in Steph’s Book? Of Course. It was all I could think when Steph chimed in on my recount of a recent road trip adventure…
Xander’s “Choose Your Own Adventure” Part 2: Highway Flirting
Sep 1st
The Zone
By: Apex
“Suddenly I was nearly two seconds faster than anybody else, including my team mate with the same car. And suddenly I realised that I was no longer driving the car consciously. I was driving it by a kind of instinct, only I was in a different dimension. It was like I was in a tunnel.” –Aryton Senna, 3-time Forumla 1 World Champion
There’s a feeling that everyone has. It is difficult to experience, and even harder to describe. It’s that moment where everything you do is almost supernatural – things happen before you make them happen, all your goals seem to achieve themselves, and you can’t be stopped. This is your flow, your zone, your state.
It’s amazing when it happens. You’re on top of the world and you can’t be stopped. Everything you set out to do seems to happen on its own, beyond your control. You’re operating at full throttle, but it seems like you can accomplish so much more. You’re a passenger on the ride to success, but you reap all the rewards. You’re “in the zone” and you can’t be stopped. Read the rest of this entry »
Aug 22nd
Hey Guys and Girls.
We missed a post last week. Things have been busy here at IDM (as we all are involved in other projects and it seems to be crunch time for most of us. Xander will be back soon with a new post and I’ll be writing some peices when I get back from the road.
In the mean time I have a few daily challenges for you to help get you outside of the box.
1. Sit down on the floor and take a breath. Next time you are at Starbucks, the grocery store. Have a seat and see how it feels. See how people react to you sitting in the middle of the floor. Live outside the box.
2. Meet 3 new people today. Try Xander’s technique of “Hi, I’m Xander” and extend your hand. See where it goes.
3. Feeling tired? a little bored? out of energy? Hit the floor and do some pushups. Does it change the wall you feel?
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