We left off at the Groom’s favourite pub. Here’s what really made the night -

The Checklist – Xander and I spent an hour one night ensuring that we make the Groom and the rest of the guys get out of their shells and totally rock the night. We came up with a checklist of things that the Groom would have to do and have signed off on by one of us. Here’s the list:

We started the Groom off nice and slow and built it up to the improbable. It made the night fun and no excuses were to be made, if it was on the list, it was to be attempted. Even at the first low-key venue we were flying through the check list.

This worked for a few reasons – The list detached the Groom from responsibility, it was the list incharge, not him. He fearlessly went at every single one as best he could. It allowed him to open girls with a simple “hey can you help me out, I’m on this scavenger hunt and…” NOT one girl was upset, objected or protested to the idea, if they weren’t interested in partaking they would usually offer to buy him a drink or find someone to help him check off an item.

Ok, on to the next venue. We headed up the street to a high end, high class club. The kind of place that has a $25 cover charge and big scary bouncers out front. Xander was not sure until the day of where we were going, so pre-arranging with the manager was not an option. We had no choice but to run game with the bouncers, we started fast and early by joking with them, acting as if we were long lost friends and inquiring to see if the manager was free to greet us. We were in luck, it was just early enough in the night, not to busy yet. Xander ran his magic, chatted up the manager but we ran into a road block, no VIP tables were available for the night. The manager said he’d find something for us and paraded us into the club, neon shirts glowing and all.  The manager walked us into the VIP room that overlooked the club, turned the lights on and set us up with some complimentary drinks. The night was well on it’s way, the rest of the night was a blur, didn’t end till the sun came up and most of the scavenger hunt was complete.

That’s how you throw and awesome bachelor party. Not with money, not with strippers, with confidence, planning and execution.

We’ve previously covered the Do’s and Do not’s of profile photos. This applies from everything from Facebook, LinkedIn, Myspace as well as any dating website.  As our world moves online more and more people are busy and turning to free dating websites like http://www.plentyoffish.com and pay for use sites like http://www.match.com . Whether you are paying for the service or not you want to make sure that when you do send a message that you get a response. We recently set up a fake profile on Plenty of Fish to see what type of messages the average attractive girl receives.  First off, let me say thank god I’m not a pretty girl on a dating website, the chodish messages our mock profile received on an hourly basis was staggering.

Most of the messages we received had subject lines like “hi” “hey” “hello” “what’s up” so the first thing you are going to have to do is separate yourself from the bunch by saying something different in your subject line. Try a quirky question like “Pirates or Ninjas?”

From here most of the lines commented on our profile

“oh you like to travel, me too”
“you are a grad student, I’ve been thinking about doing my masters too”
“you like sandwiches, me too”

These are all forms of validation seeking, hey look at me, I’m like you.

Instead of saying that say something like “you seem kind of cool but before I know for sure you have to answer these 3 vitally important questions:”

What you’ve done is turned the tables, instead of telling her she’s pretty and smart and you think she’s cool, you are saying I’m not sure about you, prove yourself to me. This makes you a challenge and sets you apart from every other chode that’s messaging her.

Continue here with 3 completely unimportant and illogical questions.

Something like:
“What is one food that is canned that shouldn’t be?”
“Would you rather be a fighter jet pilot or a race car driver?”
“If you could make out with someone any location on earth, where would it be?”

Follow with “keep in mind, your cool factor totally depends on your answers”

Sign it with your name and leave it at that.  If they don’t reply move on, do not continue messaging the same girl, maybe she doesn’t login any more, maybe she has met someone, maybe it’s a fake profile setup by some awesome guys from your favourite dating, relationship and life website.

First of all your display photo speaks volumes.

Sunglasses inside, macho cool guy stance, popped collars, sideways hats. The world has a douche bag alarm and people are running for cover.

Gang signs. Look gentlemen, it’s obvious you are not in a gang. It’s also obvious that you can’t just stand there and have your photo taken comfortably so you need a crutch to hold you up, unfortunately throwing up a gang sign makes you look like a complete tool. Where is your popped collar?

Anything with your shirt off. Especially if you are by yourself cause we know 2 minutes before this photo was taken you were talking about how you need a new display photo for your profile and you want to show people how ripped you are and what colour a boiled lobster looks like.

Stay tuned for how to do it right.

His secrets? Once again, confidence and comfort.

You can check your ego at the door though, you don’t need to be egotistical and self loving to be confident and comfortable, although it’s a tough tray to balance.

Worth a watch.

Take Your Game On the Road

We sit in a bar completely engrossed in our conversation while everyone else is left to listen. We always seem to have competing stories when we get on “adventurous” topics and I’ll admit the score to date is still in her favour. The remainder of our friends often sit and drink in the ridiculous topic matter, or at least politely wait it out. Stephanie is an adventurous blond, a leader full of goals and ideals and yet is always open to having those challenged through intelligent banter. By all accounts she’s a catch: She knows how to flirt, she’s rarely reserved about any topics and she’ll put you in your place if she feels you’re out of line. Sometimes I wonder how it is that her and I met through this current network of friends – a politically charged group of young professionals who, though awesome in their own right, are far conservative on the social front than Steph and I. Steph is now off the market. In fact in three weeks I’m to play the music for her wedding service at a valley resort somewhere west of Halifax, Nova Scotia – and I couldn’t be happier for her.

“Oh, that’s called ‘Highway Flirting’”

Oh, it already has a title in Steph’s Book? Of Course. It was all I could think when Steph chimed in on my recount of a recent road trip adventure…

Xander’s “Choose Your Own Adventure” Part 2: Highway Flirting

“Me and a girlfriend had the same thing happen to us while driving to a concert in the earlier years of university, only when the guys in the Volkswagen asked for our numbers I responded with ‘36-24-34′”

Of course! Even Steph’s punch line was a little more story bred than mine… And delivered in a fraction of the time. The group all shared a massive laugh just as our server was delivering our late night food order. I sat in my head for moment, processing Steph’s statement before digging into my quesadilla – Here I sit before a woman who’s never picked up a book on the topics of of attraction and living life to its fullest and yet it’s been her experiences that have given her all the game she needs. She seeks out challenge and accepts it, craning her neck into any situation that will help her grow in ways the socially-passive team political-intellect wouldn’t think to do for fear of abusing the norm.

You don’t necessarily need the self-help books, inspiration poems or eagle-over-mountain posters to obtain this growth – you need experiences. To put yourself out there and challenge the world as Steph has done – creating her own experiences as she goes and using that as the catalyst for building and for growth.

And so the Nth round ends in your favour, Steph…
And in three weeks our games will have shifted for good…
I’ll be chasing your records while you go Pro…

Undefeated.

X

This Way to Adventure

I’m ditching scripts – if you didn’t gather from the first post, I’m going au’naturel – and I’m having a lot of fun doing it, though it can be scary as hell…

Xander’s “Choose Your Own Adventure – Part 1”

“Having fun anywhere” takes practice. You need to learn to do things because you want to, not because you should or that’s what you’re supposed to do. A lot of times those are things that someone expects of us to want to do – though there’s always situations where we really should do it (picking up a friend from the Airport – hell ya! Not murdering the guy that cut you off in traffic – pretty socially obvious that you shouldn’t, really). But take a minute to think back to those glory days of childhood – did you really care if someone saw you running around with a stick screaming and beating up trees? No, because that stick was a bad-ass sword and those trees were trying to stop you from winning whatever it was you were trying to win. You were focused on the interaction, not the outcome. This led me to a conversation with a wing of mine. I was commenting to him about how I’m done with scripts and routines and am really enjoying the results of just being me. The strike outs, the home runs, all of it seems to be more enjoyable now that I’m no longer playing a character. I went on to tell him about how some of the old routines and scripts I could never get to work for me because they always just felt awkward attempting…

“Xander, that’s because they aren’t congruent with you… The situation [in that routine/script] never happened, so how should you be able to relate to it”

Its odd that after all the study and learning these “magic pill” lines and routines have lead me to a point where I’m no longer “congruent” with them – or that it took someone else bluntly telling me to even realize it. But it took practice to get to this point. It took learning lines, trying new things to get here. It took practice to shake off the thoughts and perceptions of others and find me…

… Which leads me to the catch 22…

You only get there when you work at it. That’s why musicians have sheet music. That’s why athletes have drills. That’s why there’s bad jokes. That’s why there’s pick up lines. That’s why there’s scripts. You need them to help you understand, to push yourself past safety nets and try something new. Just don’t make these scripts and jokes the only thing in your repertoire. Develop your own spin on things, try your own solos and start having fun with it.

Choose Your Own Adventure – “The Scavenger Hunt”

Recently myself and some wings spent a week in the Bay Area of California to take in the nuptials of a mutual friend. Having never been to the area before it was the perfect setting for “practice” fun and while planning a night out in celebration of our friend’s impending marriage we assemble a rag-tag team of 11 or so guys and took to a club. Yes, a bachelor party could be considered a cheating reference to support this article, but hear me out… This collection of guys, ranging from code monkey’s and community-care workers to financial planners and small town boys itching to get out came united under one goal – to complete the “Scavenger Hunt”.

The Hunt was an epic idea that birthed from a eureka moment my wing had while we were planning the event. To prepare the team, a copy of the list was sent to every guy under the instructions that “… You can help in setting up the challenges, but the man of honour has to pull the trigger”. The results were incredible. It gave every man in the group a purpose that night. Guys who complained of no-skill were winging for me in the end – and doing a damn fine job. From quiet computer guys to outgoing self-starters, the WOO was strong with us, and by the night’s end our VIP room was full of people at the club all taking part in the fun.

So I leave this adventure to you, choose it or perhaps let it jump start your ideas on how to have fun. The next night out with you and your wings try something different – take a road trip and pack a list of challenges (20 or so – if you want ideas leave a comment with a link to some contact details) that you can hold each other to. If you’ve been having trouble with routines this situation might be just what you need. No opener is needed but the truth of the situation: You’re on a road trip with your buddies and each of you have a list of things to accomplish. Now you can get back to the interaction and start having fun. And don’t be afraid to let others in on your Scavenger Hunt, you just might show people the time of their lives without even knowing it… all in the name of adventure!

X

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"Hi, I'm Xander"... Yup, works here too

The lines, the timing, the plays, the moves, the rules… The Game

I’m out. Since when did “Meeting People” become so scientific? And for what benefit? Now you have “formulas”, pre-established “routines”, graphs of attraction and “openers” – when do you plan on being you?

Woah, woah, woah… “be you“? Did a writer on IDM just say “be yourself“? He did, and hear him out, because he’s about to introduce you to your inner Jedi… sit back, throw away the “play book” and for the love of God don’t take any notes, just do it instead!

The Reunion, part 1

Recently, there was a reunion of sorts between me and a few of my old wings – some of the guys from this very site that were partly responsible for unleashing my awesome. The night was set for “wrecking”, we were all coming off what I could only define as “awesome sabbaticals”. While we sat back at the Elle E. Gal, reminiscing about our most recent adventures and the new plans we all had on the horizons, one thing remained constant during our interaction: we were living for us and sharing that with friends – our realities were strong and very real. This concept of owning the reality you live in created a centered state for our first evening back out, and the return to awesome.

Cabs were soon called and within 20 minutes we’ve parted ways from the Elle E. Gal and are rolling up to a favoured club of ours to consummate the renewed dedication to life. My friend engages the Bouncer on our way into the door and I’m hit with that familiar feeling, “It is on tonight”, I lean in and say to my new wing. I like talking to the Bouncers, especially if I like the club I’m heading to – you never know when that Bouncer will notice you at the back of the line some night and wave you in. On our way through the door I notice an acquaintance of mine working the cover table, I cut in front of my buddy and say hi just as he’s dropping his cash for cover.

“Xander, haven’t seen you out in a while”, the lady in yellow quips from behind her table.

“Yeah, it’s a bit of a reunion tonight, so we thought why not get back to basics and hit up an old faithful?”, Its On, the only words running through my head and driving me through these necessary steps into the club. With in the minute Yellow is handing my wing back his cover and stamping us through – to the bar for a drink.

We line up at the bar, each of us ordering our drinks, if I remember correctly it was two scotches, a double gin and tonic, and a vodka and seven with a splash of grenadine – the new wing likes his ridiculous drink orders, though it’s not a bad idea to get a barkeep to remember you. One of the wings makes motions to search out some table and chair action, so we move off from the bar and scan for a seat – there’s nothing available. As we roll through the crowd we see what appears to be an empty booth, I draw closer and peer in. Alas, the booth was no longer so empty, instead filled with the unmotivated faces of two young ladies buried in text messages. That raw energy comes storming back: the thrill of the approach has got me tingling. With a quick step I immediately shuffle myself into the booth while some of my wings are scanning for seating arrangements,

“Hi, I’m Xander”, said as I slide directly beside the closest girl and extend my hand for a shake. I’m working in the moment, no established routine, no plan, just needing a seat and wanting to meet some new friends.

“Oh, umm, hi,” said while returning my offer of hand, “I’m Steph”, Its On. It may not have been a “WOO“, but mustering that feeling of It Is On Tonight as I was entering the club has unlocked something in me – it is almost as if I’m seeing the source code for social interactions.

“My friends and I are looking for a place to sit, and while we’re pretty incredible we felt you guys might be able to come close to our level of awesome, think we can all get along and have the best night ever?”, Oh, its. so. on.

“Oh my God, we were just thinking of leaving because our friends ditched us”, Boom – Steph opened the situation for me and through some solid listening I’m firing back on all cylinders. After all, I had to prove that they were going to have a good time on account of us behind there – and the extended kiss with both Steph and Ms. Handshake at the end of the evening was proof that they both had a blast. After seating the wings with Steph and Handshake, I decide that two girls for four guys was, well, pathetic. I venture out to meet more people with this new found pickup line I’d just discovered:

“Hi, I’m Xander”

The rest of the night was what I could only describe as truly lording the club. On the Dance floor I was walking from circle to circle, introducing myself and immediately instigating “dance offs” with which ever girl was closest to me, all the while reminding myself “Its On”. I ran wingman for a guy I just met and managed to turn his Dawson’s Creek-fest of a relationship with a very cute blond “Joey” from utter frustration to dance floor make out (more on that another time, in the meantime “Take that Pacey!”). There was Alex, the bank machine beauty who was just ahead of me for the ATM. She never did get her money out once I started talking to her, though my kissing booth did comp her a freebie on account of my distracting level of sheer awesome. And then there was Ms. Lois Lane, an acquaintance of mine who within 5 minutes of stepping inside the club was running off with me on an adventure for late night coffee.

All of this because I stopped running the plays and started interacting. There is no routine for strengthening your reality to the point of full, unbridled “state”. It takes applying some basics to your personality and pushing through your sicking points and insecurities to just do it. There’s no magic routine that will work 100% of the time, unless you are working it 100% of the time – in which case you’re probably in a form of unaware state (wake up, it’s you, not the routine). Just try going commando and leave the play book at home. Embrace your reality and you might quickly discover that there really is no pick up line any better than…

“Hi, I’m Xander”

Some keys to consider to help you beef up your State. Remember, don’t take notes – just start doing it.

1. Get grounded. The little ego session we had at the Elle E. Gal was perfect. We shared our successes, how we overcame failures and what our future plans are. We brought each other in to our realities, which in turn strengthen it. Now it wasn’t just me that knew what I wanted  to do, others were now aware which pushed me above and beyond to achieve what I’m trying to achieve. This is different than just looking in the mirror and talking yourself up, getting grounded is about embracing your reality and rocking it harder than you’ve rocked it before. The next step is about getting the pump up!

2. Get pumped. An earlier post on the site talks about Real Social Dynamic’s Tim, and his “WOO” clap. This type of ritual gets you pumped up, and gets others feeling your energy as well. For me, on this particular evening (before I was aware of The WOO), Its On was my pump up. Combined that confidence that’s coming from getting grounded and all of a sudden you’re living The WOO.

3. Don’t fear the outcome. Embrace the unknown. If you get a drink thrown in your face, that’s just story value and something to laugh about. You walk away with a phone number, well that’s just you meeting a new an interesting person that your mom or sister didn’t have to set you up with.

4. Act. Stop thinking about it. If she’s cute go introduce yourself. Don’t know what to say after that? Try “Do you like Strawberries? [Listen to Answer] That’s awesome, I like ham and the colour blue”. You’d be surprised how even a discussion on trans-sexual genitalia can get you a second date.

5. Be Your State. No one elses. If you’re not amused or having fun, then why are you doing it?

Q: I am very pretty, smart and independent. I normally don’t have a problem meeting men, but all they seem to want is a physical relationship. What am I doing wrong?

A: This is a bit of a tricky question. There are many reasons why a man would only want a physical relationship with you… Do you sleep with him on the first or second date? Do you pursue him? Do you dress slutty and then wonder why men don’t take you seriously? Did you answer by nodding ‘yes’, ‘yes’ and ‘yes’?
Well, I don’t want to get a bunch of hate mail after this, believe me, I have had my fair share of nights dressing slutty during a night out at the clubs. (My girlfriends and I blame it on ovulation). Sad to say though, a lot of men still believe in the old double standard. They are encouraged to screw around and are often patted on the back for sleeping with a variety of people but they definitely don’t want a girlfriend who does. And if he meets a beautiful woman who is hard to get, he’ll pursue her like VIP tickets to the Stanley Cup playoffs.
Here’s my advice, take it or leave it: Save the make-out session for the 3^rd or 4^th date. I know it’s hard but try your best. Build a friendship with him. Cut it off after 2^nd base and wait to see if he asks you out again. If he calls for another date, you’ll know he’s really into you. If you never hear from him again, cut your losses and remember it’s not your fault, but you might want to reconsider the guys you are choosing to go out with. There will always be guys who only want to sleep with you. You are fabulous, why wouldn’t they?! Just remember that if he really wants YOU and not just your hot bod, he won’t mind waiting. And if he’s really boyfriend material, he’ll respect your mind AND your body.

Q: My girlfriend never wants to sleep over at my apartment. She sometimes comes over late, has sex with me and then makes an excuse to leave in the middle of the night. What do you think is going on?

A: How do I put this delicately…? She is not your girlfriend. You are her bootie call! Have you talked about your relationship? Are you even sure you have one? Does she consider you her boyfriend? Has the word “boyfriend” and your name ever appeared in the same sentence? Sorry if this sounds cruel but I really like this girl! It’s not very often I get mail from MEN wondering why a girl won’t spend the night with him.
Do you enjoy the sex? If so, here’s my advice, take it or leave it: consider yourself lucky. You are the object of a woman’s sexual affection. This doesn’t happen very often. You must be very sexy. And if you are enjoying the sex but want a little more of an emotional connection, explain it to her. Tell her how you feel. If she is still only into it for the nookie, tell her you need more and go find a girl who likes to sleep in… with you!

Come see me again next Tuesday! I have a secret to share…

So what does snowboarding have to with this website? Well the other night I was out with a few friends, We had be chatting and enjoying our night talking about various events but then a girl appeared. Both my friends stopped dead in their tracks “wow, she’s hot, I want to talk to her” they both muttered and then continued to sit there. I on the other hand figured out a way to talk to her so that I didn’t appear to be hitting on her. With this in my arsenal I decided at the start of the next song I’d put my plan into action. Instantly the fear kicked in, I felt like I was strapping into my snowboard at top of Blackcomb mountain ready to drop into the Superpipe. I quickly jumped up and rolled onto the dance floor before I could let the anxiety paralyze me. My approach was simple – find the funnest girl on the dance floor that I wasn’t interested in and dance with her. The music was swing/blues so I was at home as I had taken a series of dance classes before and knew I wasn’t a great dancer but I was a better dancer than anyone else there. I was having a great time spinning and swinging this girl around laughing and joking. Instantly I was the star that put my social value up to a ten and I knew that the girl that my friends were interested in would notice this. She did.

My friend joined me on the dance floor and engaged her, she was more interested in me, problem? nope not at all. I started to dance with her and showed her a great time spinning and swinging her around. She was laughing and trying to find out everything she could about me. I dodged question after question and continued to talk about how I was there with my friend and how cool he was and I that I was so stoked that he had called me to come out. We danced for another song, I informed her that I had work in the morning and I had to leave but my friend was staying and that she should have a good night. No numbers or emails were exchanged to reinforce that I wasn’t interested in her (which was true).

Here is how it happened step by step you can chose to apply the ones you like.

1. interest was expressed in a particular girl by my friends.
2. I devised a way to talk to her and ACTED as soon as possible to overcome the anxiety.
3. On my way to start the interaction my anxiety peaked and then steadily declined after all the plan was in action and it was too late to turn back.
4. I increased my social value showing that I was a fun and care free person (and a good dancer).
5. I chatted with the girl and increased my social value.
6. To interest her in my friend I talked about how great he was which maintained my social value but ranked his higher than mine.
7. I left her wanting my friend and headed home to get some food and go to bed.
8. She became interested in my friend and they hit it off.

I can tell you that every time I initiate an interaction with a girl I get approach anxiety, my heart flutters and I get a dreadful feeling. The best daters in the world do, Rockstars and Athletes do, you’ll never get rid of that feeling but you have to embrace it and go for it. If I hadn’t of we would have just sat at the table all night and he wouldn’t have met a great girl and she wouldn’t have met to great guys, one of which who was a pretty good dancer.

Now folks, this doesn’t have to be applied to just guys meeting a girl, a girl can just as easily do it to a guy. You just have to get over your approach anxiety.

(I’ll paraphrase a bit)

I was in Boston on business with my brother and we thought we’d go out for a drink at a pub down the road. I went up to the bar to order a drink and I noticed the girl standing beside me was quite attractive. It was cold that night, so she had her sweater draped over shoulders and not on properly. So, being the playful flirty guy that I am, I grabbed the arms of her sweater, flung them around as I laughed and said, “hey you, where are your arms?” She looked at me with a sour look on her face and said “I don’t have any arms. I’m an amputee.” and showed me the stumps where her arms were. Ouch. Then her friends, who overheard the conversation, yelled at me, “what a jerk! How can you be so insensitive?!”

I felt terrible. I apologized, and told her friends I didn’t know and was just being playful… I bought her a drink, said I was really sorry again and left the bar.

I want to point out a few things. Yes, it is a pretty embarrassing story, and now I’ll think twice now about pulling girls’ sweaters when out at the bar. But I would like to note Doc’s attitude about what happened: He apologized, bought her a drink, and talked with her friends to make sure they would tell her that he was sorry and hadn’t done anything to purposely hurt her feelings. As a side note, he now has one of the best answers to that “what’s the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you?” question.

Okay, so now that I’ve scared you out of ever talking to women ever again, I want you to relax your shoulders, breathe in slowly, and breathe out a deep sigh of relief. Because you will statistically never have to go through something that embarrassing/awkward when you start a conversation with a girl you don’t know. Not even close. Out of all the people I know who approach women on a regular basis, they generally haven’t had drinks poured on them, and no slaps in the face to talk about. Women are just not that scary (when they’re not shopping for shoes…).

Let’s talk about your life then. Say you’re hanging out with a few friends at your college bar and you notice a girl that fits your “type.” She’s a brunette, a little bit shorter than you, and she’s wearing a t-shirt with your favorite obscure rock band on it. And she’s drop-dead gorgeous.

The problem is that you’re scared to go up and talk to her. Why? Our brains have evolutionarily evolved to protect us in our cave-man societies of 50 people or less. Within those small societies, our brains evolved to protect us from talking with strangers, especially physically attractive strangers that likely have an alpha male as a mate. It’s a protection mechanism, but in our society today it is not serving you.

So, I’m going to play psychologist here and analyze your fear of approaching your cute college girl, according to Dale Carnegie’s 3 Steps to Overcome Worry/Fear:

1)What’s the worst that could happen? Describe your absolute worst-case scenario.

“When I go up and talk to her, she’ll laugh at me, tell me that I should jump off a bridge and die, and then tell all of her friends, my friends, and everyone she meets about how much of a dork I am…People will see me fail, and I’ll be embarrassed.”

2)Analyze your worst case scenario: is it likely? No. But let’s say for sake of argument, that it is. Hypothetically allow yourself to deal with that possibility. Would it be the end of the world?

“Well, I guess she probably wouldn’t be really mean to me and throw water in my face… But if she did, I guess I’d feel pretty shit about it. But I suppose I could deal with it – and maybe be able to laugh at the situation. Plus, I’d have a hilarious story to tell my friends.”

3)What are some ways that you could minimize the likelihood of the worst case scenario happening?

“I could create a good first impression by always looking after my physical appearance, even if I’m just going to the grocery store… And I could have a few interesting things to say or funny stories about things that happened recently, so I don’t feel like I have nothing to talk about…”

The point is, there’s a lot you can do to minimize that far-off and unlikely worst-case scenario. And anything that you do regularly gets easier as you learn the necessary skill set. Approaching women, going in for the first kiss, whatever it is you’re scared of.

Out of all the interactions I’ve had with approaching and talking with women, the worst that’s ever happened to me is simply a cold shoulder or a brief, awkward conversation. And if I look at the positives that have come out of the interactions: meeting literally thousands of new people; going on dates; a feeling of being able to be adventurous in even the most ‘everyday’ situations… I’m quite happy I get over that little fear each time, and do it anyway.