For the Ladies – How to land Mr. Right this summer.

Most guys I know feel that they don’t need help with their game (they do, we all do), whether their game is used for meeting dozens of beautiful models or just talking to that one special girl we all could use a little help. On the other side of the coin women have a deeper understanding that they could use a little help landing Mr. Right, nearly once a week a female friend comes forward and asks me for some help. Here is IDM’s definitive guide to meeting and landing Mr. Right this summer.

Traditionally, meeting Mr. Right is more of a passive activity, this guide will focus on being actively passive. More or less, making sure you are putting the best ingredients together for him to approach.

Looks – Physical attraction is important, millions of years of evolution ensured that we are looking for a healthy mate that will produce viable offspring, even though we aren’t battling sabre toothed tigers those evolutionary bi-products are still there.  You should look good when you leave the house, teeth should be clean and white, hair should be clean looking, clothing should be well fitting and feminine. Final message: You don’t want to leave the house looking like Sue Sylvester.

Health – More and more health is becoming important, start going to the gym, quit smoking and cut the sugar out of your diet. We don’t all want to date Marissa Miller, but we do want someone that cares about their health, you can be curvy, skinny or a big beautiful woman, but you should still be healthy. Final message: We don’t want you getting winded walking from the car nor do we want you blowing away on a windy day, we are looking for a life partner after all.

Confidence – I hear “I’m just an average girl” more than I can count. No one wants to date an average girl, no one wants to be average, just because you aren’t a Victoria Secret model that has a Nobel prize and Olympic medal doesn’t mean you are average. What average says to me? is you are willing to settle, you are bored with your life, tell me you are passionate, tell me you aren’t average, maybe you love Star Trek and love playing indoor soccer, that makes you unique. Instead of telling me you are just like everyone else (then why wouldn’t I want to date everyone else?) tell me why you aren’t like everyone else. Final Message – We want someone who is confident, motivated and happy.

Location – Not just for real estate. If you find Nerds sexy, chances are you aren’t going to meet them at some trashy downtown bar. If you want to meet a Doctor stop hanging out at Law School. What I’m getting at that you need to figure out what you are looking for in a man and then put yourself into the circle. Join a summer sports league, join a wine tasting group, join a guild of elves, really, it doesn’t matter what, but that you are actually taking a step forward to meeting the right person. Too many girls go to work, come home, go out with friends and that’s it, those are not ideal situations to meet Mr. Right.  Final Message – You meet a guy that appreciates art at a gallery, not at a night club.

Stay tuned for part 2.

How to write a dating profile part 3. – For the ladies

IDM’s guide to writing a girl’s dating profile:

Listen up girls, we’ve spent the last few months looking at dating profiles, getting messages from girls on ours and evaluating what’s out there. Your goal with your dating profile is to ultimately meet someone and have some form of relationship with them. Here is our official guide to get the most and the best possible responses.

Photos matter – Whether your photos are public or not you should have 3 photos – one head shot, one full body shot, and one photo of you doing something that you love to do. Guys are visual when we look for a car we want to see the car before we buy it, knowing the specs alone won’t get us excited. We don’t want to be surprised that you are 100lbs when we were expecting a full figured goddess and vice a versa. If your photos are not public, when you message a guy, attach the photos, he’s not going to reply to a faceless creature, we want to know what you look like. If we aren’t attracted to you then you are wasting both your time and ours. Don’t post photos of your kids, your dog, your cat or your fish, it’s ok to have any of those but let’s ease us into that.

Most of the profiles have the same style “about me”. Have a look through at some other girls profiles then write yours make sure you are different, make sure you use punctuation, proper spelling and avoid slang. Don’t be afraid to be playful or to state what you are looking for and what you are not looking for. Display some confidence and most of all represent your best self. Finally, keep it short. We don’t want 14 pages on what you do, why you love your dog “Clover” and what type of kittens and ice cream you prefer. Tempt us, tease us, give us your best movie trailer, if we want more we’ll message you.

So you find a guy and you want to message him first.

Don’t:

Write a page about yourself.
Tell him why he’s awesome.
Write a two word msg. “Hi” is not an email.

Do:

Write a short blurb on why you messaged him. “Hey you seem kind of cool, you’re into ______, me too, I could totally kick your butt in it.”
Ask him an obscure but playful question “You seem cool, but to make sure…What is your favourite old school video game?”
Be playful, flirty and brief.

Here is an example of my favourite profile that I have come across:

Hi, I like sarcasm. My life is full of mind blowing drama that I am just waiting to unload on someone. I love having loud public arguments, especially when I get to make comparisons to my past failed relationships. Not only that, but! I am incredibly insecure and physically unattractive that I’ll most likely repeatedly ask you if you think I’m fat, only to say “I know you’re lying!” in response to whatever your answer may be, and somehow use it against you when you have a poker night planned with the boys. <-This paragraph clearly shows that she’s fun, she’s not going to be crazy or obsessive, and respects your space i.e. poker night with the boys and that she has enough of a brain to be funny about it.

In the meantime, I can also be serious, and mention things that I personally enjoy. Such as my family and friends, playing guitar, being active (gym, yoga, the outdoors), my job, travelling, and people that chew with their mouths closed. I love having a good laugh on a daily basis, and being surrounded by people that do the same. <- Ok So we know what she likes and what she does for fun and a typical day for her.

I am looking for someone who’s honest, loyal, caring, sincere and trustworthy. Who has morals, values and interests similar to my own and has an excellent character. Someone well educated and is happy and comfortable with themself, capable of making a commitment. Someone that loves their job, realizing the importance of financial stability, but understanding that there is more to life than materialism. Someone, who in the long run, would genuinely have my best interest at heart. Someone who has respect for the environment. A great sense of humour is a must. Someone that takes care of themself and is health conscious and active. Because yes, superficially speaking, looks are important and key to initial attraction, and being fit and healthy can make you attractive inside and out. <- Like a movie trailer she brought us in with the first part now we are getting to the meat of the story, not to heavy but enough that you really know if this is a film worth seeing and if you are the right audience for it.

So basically, if you’re a self-centered, ‘roid pumping, spray-tanned, arrogant, money hungry, insecure-with-a-chip-on-your-shoulder, unemployed angry highschool drop-out, don’t keep me waiting any longer and message me NOW! <- We finish up the same way we started on a fun playful note. Overall the whole profile is short, fun but serious and we know what she’s looking for so we won’t waste her time.

Planning the Ultimate Bachelor Party – Part 1

The man, the shirt, the results.

Last July, Myself, Xander and a few other friends descended upon the San Francisco Bay Area for a week of fun, excitement and “Woo”.

Xander was charged with being the best man, planning, arranging and putting everything together. He had a lot on his plate so I offered up my ideas and my labour to help him get everything he needed done. On the flight in we started trying to conceptualize the bachelor party. Sure, you can take a guy out to a trashy strip club, you can take him paint balling, golfing or to a shooting range.

What we wanted to do was show him a no rule, no limit night of fun. Think louder than 11.

Here’s how we did it…

2 weeks prior to the wedding we decided that t shirts would be needed, a form of peacocking for the night, a way to bring the team feeling together on our night out, and finally a way for us to help find each other in a crowded club. Our shirts were safety green and hot pink, it was impossible to not spot any of us from 1000 yards. Luckily we did not have to try to hide from the police.

2 days prior to the wedding was the day set for the bachelor party. Why? it’s enough time to ensure that all parties involved can be bailed out of jail, found on the roof of a casino, replaced, etc. Further more it allows all hangovers to be recovered from. We also used hotwire.com to find a cheap hotel room, we managed to get a $500 a night room in a downtown hotel for less than $100. This provided a base of operation as well helped set the tone for the night, imagine your friends taking you into a  5 diamond hotel (not star, diamond…) to start your night, remember, it’s always about context.

Once in the hotel we had a few shots, got ready, surprised the groom once again with the t-shirts and some good scotch to drink. He was already buzzing from excitement. This night was destined for greatness.

We had previously found out where his favourite pub was and started there for food and drinks. Xander called in advance to book a large table and get friendly with the manager. During this phone call he set it up that this place was the Groom’s favourite place and that we would be celebrating his coming nuptials.  This takes a page from “the bouncer is your friend”. On arrival the entire staff was aware why we were they and made us right at home, providing excellent service, free drinks.

Stay tuned for part two and the secret of the checklist…

Stop Being Single!

Keychain, one of the worlds top pick up artists is writing for – Staggered, a UK based blog/magazine that is related to all things being a Stag (a.k.a. groom). The site has some great articles for those of you who are about to have your balls chopped off and put into a purse.

For those of you that want to have your balls chopped off (married) check out his posts here. He promises that you’ll end up with a girlfriend. If you really want to start dating, he knows his stuff and it’s all good advice.

How To Pick Up a Girl Online

We’ve previously covered the Do’s and Do not’s of profile photos. This applies from everything from Facebook, LinkedIn, Myspace as well as any dating website.  As our world moves online more and more people are busy and turning to free dating websites like http://www.plentyoffish.com and pay for use sites like http://www.match.com . Whether you are paying for the service or not you want to make sure that when you do send a message that you get a response. We recently set up a fake profile on Plenty of Fish to see what type of messages the average attractive girl receives.  Read the rest of this entry »

Hunter Beware – Is Your Game Ready for 2010?

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The Catwomen Have Arrived... Go on, Say Hello

Meeting quality, awesome girls is not just gambits and openers and if you don’t watch out you might just become the hunted…

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Guest Post: How to Catch a Cougar

This Week’s Guest Post comes from Hydro over at – http://openseduction.blogspot.com/

Disclaimer – Guest posts do not always reflect the views of IDM. We offer them to mix up content on here and allow you, the reader to make the call on whether you agree or disagree. We look forward to hearing your thoughts on our guest contributor posts buy commenting at the bottom of each post. – Jay

How to date cougars!!

Have you ever been at work, school or even the supermarket when you see that SUPER hot girl, who looks more like a godness than a woman? Who looks more like an impossible challenge than an easy test???? Well she is called cougar or MILF!

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Sam Sharpe – A Girls Guide

Here at IDM we always want to encourage guest posts. Our field of knowledge is great, but sharing information is the best part of the web. I’m proud to introduce Sam Sharpe, a professional writer who will (hopefully) writing some regular posts here on IDM.

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A Girls Guide– Sam Sharpe

About a month ago, I was spilling my single sorrows to my wonderfully straight platonic life partner, Logan, and for the first time he must have been sick of it because he looked at me and said plainly “Sam, you’re too fucking picky”. He was right. In the many months that I have been single, which almost add up to a year, I have been on exactly twenty-two first dates, only three of which leaded to a second date, and none became anything more than a bad memory.  Eventually, out of boredom and frustration, I started suggesting the same restaurant, at the same time, ordered the same dish, and got the same disapproving looks from the wait staff. I stopped caring because I knew not one of them would hold my interest for longer than a night. So what did they all do wrong? Read the rest of this entry »

Top 9 Best and Worst Places for a First Date

Take her on adventure and she'll have no choice but to fall in love.

Take her on adventure and she'll have no choice but to fall in love.

Need ideas for a first date? The team at IDM has compiled a list of best and worst ideas for a first date. These are all tried, tested and true. Best of luck.

1-4 Safe bets, cheap, easy.
5-7 Getting a little more interesting, cheap, still easy
8-9 Adventure he we come, cheap, involves some planning.

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The Number 1 Rule for Your Next Date

Cheers to an adventurous date!

Have a little more fun on that date...

Dinner. Meet for drinks. Grab a coffee. Catch a movie.
I’ve done these, and whatever combination they come in but never with a whole lot of luck. Then I started doing these:
Picnic at a supermarket. Hiking around railroad tracks. Grabbing a ride on a ferry. Or a dusk-time walk through a graveyard… and have had some incredible results.

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