I spent this past weekend behind the Bar at a local lounge. My girlfriend works there full time and they needed someone with bar tending experience to fill in while the owner was away partying and enjoying the fruits of his labour. Having spent some time managing a bar they knew I’d be able to integrate seamlessly for a few days so they asked me, I figured why not? I get to spend a little more time with her, I get to increase my social network, work on some routines as well as make a pocket money for myself, and hey, I’ll end up in a bars all weekend so why not get paid to do what I normally do?

Through extensive studying I have learned a lot about how people work, how they think and how they act, so I settled in behind the bar to watch how my girlfriend interacted with various tables, how patrons interacted with each other and what I could learn from this. From the very first second it was obvious to me that Mystery’s teachings (from the Mystery Method) as well as Neil Strauss’ book “The Game – Penetrating the secret society of pickup artists” were bang on. I’d watch guys lean in towards a girl and see the girl pull away, I’d watch as girls became interested in the “cool” males in the bar and give off unconscious signs such as touching their hair and changes in their body language. It was awesome just sitting there, mixing drinks, meeting people and watching and learning.

Now, let us focus on the main point of writing this article and that is “Game” or lack of it. We all have friends that have game, they are good with women and don’t know why, you might be one or you might not be, but you should read this either way, it’ll help explain how the whole dating/meeting girls scene works.

Throughout the course of the night I watched guy after guy after guy approach my girlfriend and say something along the line of :

“Wow, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.”

How does she deal with this?

The same way you deal with a homeless person asking you for change, she feels slightly uncomfortable, she wants to get out of that situation as quickly as possible and end the interaction.
Why? Just like all the homeless people that ask if you can spare some change ALL the guys (well at least 95% of them) say the exact same thing to her, she’s heard it ALL before (as have 99% of every other girl on the planet) as you’ve heard all kinds of the same stories from street bums. Unlike street bums these guys offer to buy her a drink, they flatter her with compliments and ask her questions about herself, continuing the cycle of her wanting to get out of that situation as quickly as possible.

So after watching 3 days of guys going down in flames hitting on the bar staff, how would I advise you to proceed?

When approaching Waitresses, Bartenders, or any girl for that matter DON’T:

• Compliment her on ANYTHING, especially her looks, clothing, shoes etc. She’s heard it all before and you have to convey that you are not like EVERY other guy.
• Offer to Buy her a drink, lunch, dinner, or do anything for her. Offering to do something for her says to her “I’m of lower status than you, but I can buy/do things for you to make up for it”
• Lean towards her, move towards her, even change your body position when she comes over, it’ll make her feel like you are trying to engage her and she’ll feel uncomfortable.
• Try to impress her (or anyone for that matter) with money or large tips. The beatles where right you can’t buy love and you’ll end up looking like a pompass rich boy if you try.
• Talk about yourself, what you do, own, drive, etc. Don’t give up that information freely and if she is interested enough to ask joke about it. Tell her you race unicycles for a living or that you invented shoe laces. She’ll laugh and see that you aren’t trying to impress her like every other guys does.

Do:

• Joke with her, tease her (in a playful way, you don’t want to make her feel stupid) she’ll appreciate the humour and might just become interested in you. After all most girls list sense of humour in the #1 most important quality a potential partner must possess.
• Sit back, take up space and be cool. By sitting back and relaxing you show everyone that you are comfortable with yourself and that you can enjoy the moment. (don’t slouch)

Well I’d suggest looking through some David Deangelo material, taking a seminar or even reading “The Game penetrating the secret socitety of pick up artists” Why would I suggest these? Because I was the guy telling girls they were “the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen” and then I was going home alone to ponder why they weren’t interested. I stumbled into this world of self improvement and things continue to improve for me on a daily basis.