This Week we are featuring a Guest Post from Hans Comijn.

The Source of Attraction and The Paradox of Love

In my quest for beauty, my desire to celebrate and be immersed in female energy, I often wonder what it is in women that I love so much. I travel a lot with Zan, and when asked “What is it you miss the most during your travels?” the answer for me goes along the lines of “a place of rest… with a woman who comforts and nurtures me”. As Zan puts it, “My head on a woman’s breast, with her caressing my hair and telling me everything will be all right…” And I wonder… could it be that this image describes the essence of a woman – she nurturing me, the traveller, taking care of me, providing a place where I can lay my head to rest… is that the core of female energy?
I also wonder if my traveling is the essence of male energy.

The adventurer, out there in the wilderness, the warrior on a mission, caught up in something bigger, the man with a purpose. And if these images are meaningful articulations of male and female energy, then those differences in energy seem like a very viable source for the attraction between men and women, do they not? Going vs nurturing. She is attracted to, and enamored by, purposeful men, men who go. She wants to nurture the warrior.
Everywhere we go, women ask us how they can “land that guy”. She wants to bring home the adventurer, domesticate the one that seems ‘undomesticable’. And he, the traveller, the adventurer, misses and is attracted to the nurturing qualities of women. He loves to be taken care of. He loves to come ‘home’ after he was out there in the wilderness, following his purpose. If this makes any kind of sense, could it also be then that those differences in energy not only provide a viable source for the attraction between men and women, but that they also lie at the core of the paradox of love and many of the concerns and issues we have in terms of approaching, dating and relationships between men and women?

Is it not true that as soon as she ‘lands that guy’, as soon as she has brought home the adventurer she longed for, she starts losing her attraction for him?

Is it not true that as soon as he settles and stops going, as soon as he gives up his purpose and she becomes the adventure, he kills the man in him and the possibility to make her feel like a woman?

Why do we settle? Why do we almost invariably choose to instantly get rid of the pang of missing someone by choosing ‘forever’? Is what we think we want ignoring our very male and female core?

Could it be that what we think we want will not make us happy in the long run?

She thinks that what she really wants is to land that guy. She is convinced that bringing home the adventurer forever will make her happy. And he misses the place to rest she provides so much that he thinks he should settle. So he does, and they settle for each other. But maybe, in the process of settling, they overlook that the apparent paradox of love is also the very source of their attraction. Maybe she needs to claim, maybe she needs to try to bring him home, and maybe he needs to go anyway… in the name of attraction, in the name of all women and men.

Maybe you need to give her gift of missing you. Maybe you need to disappear, reappear and celebrate her… each time with newness and excitement, fully recharged with male energy. Like it is new all over again.
Maybe she deserves that…

~ Hans Comijn
Way of Attraction

Hans works and travels with Zan Perrion on his “Ars Amorata: a 90 Day Transformation” program:
- The revampled Ars Amorata program will be launched in January and you will be able to be a part of it from any city in the world!  Updates here: www.zanperrion.com/arsamorata.php or send us an email expressing your interest.
-You can become a friend of the “Ars Amorata” page on Facebook, where you can follow the Gypsy Caravan – www.facebook.com/arsamorata
and find out more about our Amorati network: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=140358111691&id=105365474264&ref=mf
- After 3 years we will hold another Weekend Intensive, Las Vegas, Jan 29 – Jan 31 2010
An announcement will be made soon on facebook, on www.zanperrion.com and on our forum www.naturalgame.com.