Envision for a moment, a cat ready to pounce on a bird, how do we know it’s not just laying down? From the coiled muscles ready to unleash on it’s prey we can tell it’s ready to strike. We know if a dog is friendly or not and we can tell when our friend/girlfriend/mom is pissed off at us by the way they hold themselves.

Most people don’t generally have an awareness of how they are using their body language. They allow their emotions and natural instincts to express themselves freely. This is a good thing for you! Why? Well, we can learn to read people and how they are feeling and we can adjust our body language/expression/tone to them.

So here is your first assignment as a student of having a better life. I want you to head to a cafe or local night spot and just sit and watch a few groups of people see how they interact and watch their body language and facial expressions. Are they having fun? Are they angry? Sad? Mad? Nervous? Here are some clues to get you started:

Leaning in: the person or people in a group that are leaning in towards someone are expressing a lower status. They generally are less confident and are seeking to listen to the speaker. This is really common to see a guy who is head over heels for a girl on a date leaning halfway across the table while his date sits back.

Leaning back: The dominant person or people will be leaning back, comfortable taking up space while others lean in. They are used to people making them the center of attention and do not feel they need to lean in to be heard. Think about a quarter back in a huddle, he doesn’t need to push his way through he stands there and the rest of the team crowds around.

Fidgety hands: Especially with guys, you’ll see them peeling labels, tearing up napkins, coasters, playing with anything insight. It’s a nervous energy they are demonstrating, they don’t feel confident or comfortable enough to just “be” they have to have something to keep them busy. Have a look around do you see what I mean?

Touching hair: See a girl over at the bar talking to a guy? Is she interested in him? Wait and see if she touches her hair. Woman do this subconsciously and they do it a lot. The more hair touching the more interest.

Crossed arms: This is a defensive posture. It generally shows that they are either uncomfortable or unimpressed. Remember getting home past curfew and seeing mom and dad standing in the door way with arms crossed?

The space between: Not only a Dave Matthews song but also an interesting way to tell if two people are close and comfortable. You won’t see complete strangers squished together talking, but you will see old friends, lovers and family with no problems sitting really close to one another.

So now you are armed with a little bit of knowledge lets see if you can watch and pick some up on your own? Are people trying to get in or out of a conversation? Are they in a hurry? What are their emotions? Who is comfortable and confident? who is nervous and insecure? In love? In hate? Sad? Happy? In need of a hug? See if you can pick out these signs. Post up any of your findings in the comments section.